A Love That Will Never Die
by tennischick826
Summary: Bella moves to Forks to live with Charlie after she goes back into remission from her Leukemia. There she falls in love with Edward. Will she be able to keep fighting for him or will she give up? All Human.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

It has been exactly 1 year, 2 months, and 4 days since my last round of chemotherapy. What a relief that was when my doctor declared that my cancer was in remission. All of the vomiting, weakness, soreness, tiredness, and hair loss were gone. I was 5 when I was first diagnosed. I didn't really understand what cancer was. My mom, Renee, explained that my bones make cells. Cells were my energy supply, little tiny boats that go throughout my body and they weren't doing their job. By now I know every technical term for what goes on in my body.

When I was five I went through my first rounds of chemotherapy. My parents were smart enough to save the stem cells from my umbilical cord just in case and that saved me the first time around. The second time, I was 9 and chemotherapy wasn't enough. They started me with a clinical trial on a new sort of drug. They stuck a catheter into my breast bone so I could receive the medication round the clock. I had to be put into a sterile room, so for almost a year I was in the hospital with limited visitors and my mom had to wear special clothes and a mask if she wanted to sit with me. After 2 years I went back into remission. My hair didn't really grow back the same way after that and everyone could tell. The scar on my breast bone was left there, so I refused to wear shirts that allowed people to see it.

I relapsed again when I was 15. My kidneys gave out after about 7 months of chemo and radiation. The doctors started me on dialysis as a temporary solution to keep my blood free of too many toxins. I was put on a kidney transplant list and after 4 months of waiting I finally got one. I didn't respond well at first but then I got better and I went back into remission.

My cancer killing me wasn't the worst part. My parents divorced when I was only 1 year old. My mom took me to live in Phoenix and my dad stayed in Forks, Washington. So, when I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia my mom never left my side and my dad constantly came down to visit me. But the absolute worst part was my teachers, neighbors, and classmates. I wasn't Bella Swan. I was the girl with cancer. I was the pathetic weak girl who got the pity looks from everyone. So when my mom remarried last year and her new husband, Phil, traveled a lot for baseball I decided to take this opportunity to start over.

So I'm going to live with my dad Charlie in the rainiest place in the continental U.S. My hair has finally grown back, my skin has gotten some color although I still make albinos look tan, and I've gained some composure. So I think this will be a good thing…I think.

**It will get better I promise. This is my first story so bare with me. Review Please!**


	2. Chapter 2: First Day

**All Characters Belong To Stephenie Meyer**

The plane had just landed and I walked out into the terminal.

"Dad" I said as I ran into his arms. He hugged me back and he squeezed me so hard I was begging for oxygen.

"I missed you so much kiddo."

"I missed you too. So, are we just going to stand here or get going?" I laughed as he finally set me down. We walked out of the airport where he then took me home in his cruiser. Charlie was the chief of police in Forks and trust me when I say he would never let me drive it. It took me forever to get my license because it was shortly after I received my permit that I relapsed again. But when I got my catheter put in, it made being out of the hospital a whole lot easier. I still have the scar from the catheter. It's big, round, and purple. I refuse to wear low cut shirts because then people would see the truth.

The ride home with my dad was quiet but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was more of a comfortable silence. My dad always had a hard time expressing emotion and when I got sick it became even harder. I could always see the fear in his eyes that he was going to lose me. I used to come to Forks when I was younger. It was always between treatments but after a few temper tantrums I didn't have to come anymore. We finally pulled up to the house and nothing had changed except that there was an extra truck in the driveway.

"Dad, I didn't know you got another truck."

"I didn't. I bought it for you. You remember Billy Black on the Quileute Res. Well his son, Jacob, rebuilt the engine. Runs great."

"Oh my goodness. Dad it's perfect!" This was incredible. "But dad I already had some money saved. I was going to buy my own car."

"Kiddo I don't need you worrying about things like this. Besides I wanted to get you something." Charlie got my stuff out of his cruiser and brought in inside and up to my room.

"Um, there's the bathroom downstairs and the shower is at the top of the stairs around the corner. I made some space for you in the cabinet in there. That's about it. I'll let you get settled." Charlie began to walk out of my bedroom but I needed to make sure of something.

"Dad? You didn't tell anybody did you?" I asked. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

"Nobody knows anything." Relief washed over my face. "Thanks."

The next morning I woke up to the sound of rain against my window. I thought it would be a good idea to wake up extra early so I could get my schedule and everything settled. When I walked into the kitchen there was a note left for me. Charlie left early for work and wished me luck on my first day. The roads were incredibly wet and slick as I drove to the high school. When I got there I was the first one in the parking lot. So, I decided to walk to the main office to get my schedule and anything else I needed. A nice lady named Mrs. Cope was there to help me.

"Okay, this is your schedule and a map of the school. If you swing around, students can park here," as she pointed on the map to the small parking lot in the back. I pulled around like she said and I though it would be a good idea to memorize how to get to all of my classes so I wouldn't get lost later.

It was finally time to get to class and when I stepped into my math class there was only one seat left next to a girl with big, curly, dark hair.

I sat down quietly trying not to make a scene. The last thing I need is to draw attention to myself.

"Hi! I'm Jessica Stanley. You must be Isabella Swan!" She was practically bouncing out of her seat and it was scaring me.

"Just Bella. Hi." She seemed very exuberant. It turns out that she and I had a couple of classes together, so I spent most of the day with her. At lunch she introduced me to the rest of her group. There was Lauren, who stared at me with dagger eyes, Angela who seemed the most normal, Eric, Tyler, and Mike who were more than pleased that I was hanging with then and then Ben who sat quietly in the corner. When I sat down I noticed a very strange group of people sitting at a table. They were all sitting by themselves looking very involved in their own conversation not paying attention to anyone else in the room.

"Who are they?" I asked to Jessica.

"Those are Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's kids. The blonde one is Rosalie, the pixie is Alice, the blonde boy is Jasper, and the last one is Edward. There's also Emmett but he's in college at the University of Washington playing football; a freshman."

Edward had bronze hair and he seemed to be a little separated from his family. It's was almost sad, in a way. That's all I really noticed when the bell rang for my next class which was Biology. Angela was in my class and that was a comfort. Mike was also in our class and he was extremely excited that we had this class together. I walked in the room and there was only one seat left, next to Edward Cullen. It seemed to be popular in all of my classes for there to be only 1 seat left. I walked up to Mr. Banner and gave him my slip.

"Isabella Swan. You can take a seat next to Mr. Cullen and here are your books you're going to need."

"Thanks." I pulled my seat out and tripped on the corner of the table as I was about to sit in my seat. Edward chuckled at my lack of composure. I blushed in embarrassment. His eyes were the most lovely shade of green. They were extremely bright and full of color. I couldn't help but stare. It was making me weak at the knees.

Mr. Banner announced the assignment for the day. We were to take the slides in front of us and put them in the stages of mitosis.

"So are you enjoying the rain?" His question actually got me to laugh.

"No, not really. I don't enjoy the wet or the cold?" I responded. "Then why did you move to Forks?" He asked.

"Um…it's kind of a long story." I though that would deter the topic but he kept bringing it up again.

"I think I can keep up." He just wasn't going to let it go but what was I going to say. 'Um I was sick of being the cancer kid'. Like that would go over well.

"Well my mom remarried and her new husband Phil travels a lot. I knew it hurt her to stay home with me, so I decided to live with my dad."

"But now you're unhappy because you have to live here."

"No. It's actually a breath of fresh air to live here. Phoenix was getting kind of crowded." He chuckled again. By the end of our conversation we had labeled all of the slides and were the first ones done. Mr. Banner walked over to us and checked our work.

"Well Mr. Cullen, don't you think Isabella deserves a turn with the microscope?"

"Bella, actually she did most of the work." Edward just smiled at Mr. Banner making my knees shaky.

"Huh, Bella, were you in the advanced Biology class in Phoenix?" Actually, I wasn't because I never spent enough time in school to get very far. My mom is a school teacher and she helped me with my lessons in the hospital. It was comforting to have something to do while I was strapped down to a bed. I appreciated the fact that there was something to do besides wait for something to attack my immune system even more. I just got really smart in the hospital I guess.

"Yes." I replied. He nodded and then walked back to the front of the classroom.

The bell rang for the end of class. "So what do you have next?" he asked. "Um, gym" I replied. He smiled and then started to walk away.

"I have Spanish, I guess I'll see you later Bella as he smiled and walked away." His smiled stunned me making me forget that I had another class to get to.

Gym was boring. My doctor back in Phoenix made it very clear I was not supposed to participate in extraneous physical activity for a while. Mike and Jessica said they would walk the track together but I said I would rather walk alone. I was a loner growing up. I didn't really bond with people that well. When school was over I was walking into the parking lot when I noticed Edward walking right behind me.

I turned and smiled at him.

"Do you need a ride home?" _He_ was asking _me_ if I needed a ride home. Why would he do that? What did he find so interesting about me.

"No thanks. I've got my own car." I smiled and walked in the opposite direction towards my truck.

"Well if you ever need a ride just ask." When he smiled the wind was knocked out of me. I just smiled back and kept on walking, focusing on breathing in and out.

I dreamed of Edward that night and his perfect smile and green eyes. He was almost too perfect. What could he find interesting about me?


	3. Chapter 3: Dr Cullen

Being in remission doesn't mean that I don't have to worry about cancer anymore. It just means that there's no aggressive treatment. I still have to go to the hospital every so often to receive platelets. This was my first day and I was lucky that the hospital in Forks had the treatment with platelets. I had finally convinced my dad to let me go without him.

"Bells, just let me go with you. Keep you company. Besides, I think the guys can handle a day without the chief, they'll understand what's going on." That last line got my attention.

"Dad, don't you tell anybody! I don't care if they understand or whatever, the point is, is that they will know and I will no longer just be Bella, I'll be the girl with cancer. I can do this by myself. So please go to work. I'll be fine." I smiled and gave him a hug before I left. It was always so hard for him to accept what was going on.

So here I am at Forks hospital sitting in a chair waiting for my doctor.

"Ms. Swan?" a nurse called my name. "I'm your RN but you can call me Angie. I'll take you to your chair. Right this way." She led me into the oncology ward which had a room with big comfy chairs. I knew the routine. I would sit down, get comfy, and then they'll stick an IV in my arm which will deliver me my platelets. This was my first time here though so they had to go through all of the procedures. "Okay, you're all hooked up. Just to get you settled, your medical records have been sent and team of doctors will come to talk to you. They just want to get to know you. Alright, I'll be back later." She smiled and walked away. I was about to fall asleep when I heard a noise.

"Platelets? Remission?" someone asked. I looked up to see a very handsome, young, blonde haired doctor.

"For now" I responded. "You never know in a year or two." I smiled trying to keep the topic light. "Are you my oncologist?"

"No, I'm Dr. Cullen. I'm a general surgeon but I'm close friends with your oncologist, Dr. Gerandy. He's a little busy today so he asked if I could get some general medical information. Is Chief Swan here with you?"

"No, I'm by myself today. I'm Bella but I'm sure you already knew that." I stuck out my good hand for him to shake it." He smiled in response.

"Well, I just have a few questions." He took out his clipboard with all my files on it. "So, you had stem cells saved the first time around, correct?"

"Yup."

"And the second time you had a greater amount of chemo and a catheter put in?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"And the third time your kidneys failed from an autoimmune deficiency but you received a kidney transplant and you responded very well after that?"

"Yes. I gotta say it's kind of weird having someone else's kidney inside of me but if it means I don't have to go through dialysis again, then I'm good." I laughed.

"You seem to have quite a sense of humor about this. I've seen kids come through here and after their second relapse all their humor is gone. It's refreshing to see." He laughed as well.

"I can see the resemblance between you and Edward." I didn't mean to say that out loud. I was totally embarrassed. "I meant in your smile. You and him have the same smile" I said as I tried to cover up my brain fart.

"I get that all the time. So, you've met Edward?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Yeah, he and I have Biology together. I would really appreciate it if he or anybody else didn't know about me."

"Don't worry, it's patient/ doctor confidentiality. I'm only bound to tell your parents. Well, that's about it for my questions. I'll be working with Dr. Gernady in his surgeries so it there's anything wrong with you I'll be one of your doctors." He smiled and unhooked my IV. "Take it slowly today. You may feel a little shaky but I guess you already know that." He smiled and walked out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4: Field Trip

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**BPOV**

It was Wednesday and our Biology class was taking a trip to the aquarium to study organisms in water habitats. As I walked onto the bus I saw Jessica and Mike sitting together and they were accompanied by Lauren. So I didn't really want to sit with them and Angela was missing today. Maybe she was sick. Anyway I saw a spot open and sat there as far from Jessica and Mike all by myself.

I put on my iPod to ignore the sounds of the other kids when I felt the seat shake next to me. I looked to my right and Edward Cullen had taken the seat next to me. I smiled at him but I couldn't bring myself to say anything fearing I would say something stupid. I faintly heard a mumbling noise and I took out my ear pieces.

"What song are you listening to?" Edward asked again.

"Oh" I felt embarrassed. Only me would be listening to classical music when I'm a teenager. "It's Claire De Lune" I said.

Edward smiled. "Debussy is my favorite." I smiled. It was the first thing we had in common.

"My mom used to play it all the time around the house when I was sick." I cringed when I said that. I couldn't help it though; I had no control over what I said around him. "You know, like the chicken pox and the flu, stuff like that," I said to cover up my slip.

He smiled, "you must miss her." I nodded in response. To change the subject he asked, "so what else do you have on this thing?" as he reached for my iPod. I couldn't stop him in time. I blushed when he started to go through my music.

"What?"

"I hate it when people go through my iPod. It's like going through somebody's underwear drawer. It's so personal" I said.

"Well then you and I wear the same underwear because you and I have almost the exact same music. I didn't think anyone else listened to Debussy or classic music in general."

He and I shared my headphones the rest of the way to the aquarium. It was just comforting to have him sit there. I've never had a friend where it's like floating. Mostly my friends had cancer and the inevitability of death hung over our heads. We were also so afraid to get close to one another because we knew that when death came knocking it would only be that much harder to say goodbye.

When we got the aquarium Edward and I walked by ourselves when Mr. Banner took off. He was so fascinated by everything that was going on he really didn't care what the students were doing.

"Isn't it fascinating to watch?" Edward asked when we were looking at the fish tank.

"Not really. I've never really been into watching animals caged and separated from their families. They deserve to be free in the ocean. One time my mom took me to the zoo and I screamed to let the monkeys go. I made such a scene that security had to hold me back from jumping in their cage. Needless to say that was the last time Renee ever took me to the zoo or any kind of place like it."

Edward laughed at my story. I laughed too not because I knew the familiarity of being caged, not in an actual cage but a hospital is no different, but because the story is funny when I look back on it.

"So what's your family like?" I asked Edward. He already had my talking about my fondest childhood memories when I knew almost nothing about him.

"Well, my mom is one of the most amazing, wonderful, and caring people I've ever known and my dad is incredibly smart. Emmett is the oldest and he's playing football at the University of Washington. Rosalie and Jasper are twins and they're both seniors. And then there's me and Alice and she's older than me by 11 months so that's why we're in the same school year. She's always been there to take care of me." I smiled. It was good to know he was human and not just some Greek god.

"You're family sounds really happy." I stated. He smiled at me and then started laughing.

"Well when you have 4 brothers and sisters and a dad who isn't around a lot, things get pretty crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I'm an only child and my parents got divorced when I was little so it was just me and my mom growing up. I always wanted a big family so I wouldn't be the center of attention. I guess I never got my wish."

"If you ever want mine you're more than welcome." He laughed.

Edward and I sat next to each other on the ride home. We talked about everything. About the books, movies, and bands we liked. Our conversation never dulled and I realized that I have never talked that much in my life. My mom always did the talking and when she wasn't talking doctors were talking. It was one of the most fun days I have had in a long time.

When we got back Alice trotted right up to Edward and me and smiled. "You must be Bella. I've heard so much about you." She then hugged me. It was really weird. I don't even know her but I returned the hug anyway.

"Well has he now." I smiled when I looked at him. I'd only known him for a week and a half and I should be a little creeped out that he was talking about me to his family but I was flattered. Edward glared at Alice and it was so funny. "I'll see you guys later. I have to get home." I waved at Edward as I left. I couldn't concentrate on my homework all night long. All I could think about was Edward. I've never like anyone before. I never had time to like anyone. My heart was flying all night. For the first time in a long time, I fell asleep smiling.

**Hope you guys liked it ******


	5. Chapter 5: Question

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

It was almost February and the snow was unbearable. It start up in the night making the roads icy and then melt in the day making then slippery wet. Ugh. Edward and I sat next to each other at lunch almost everyday. The only objections were when his siblings needed something or when Jessica, Mike, or Angela pestered me so much that I had to sit with them but today I was sitting with all of Edward's family.

"Bella, we so have to go shopping tomorrow!" Alice was almost bouncing out of her seat.

"Ugh," I groaned. I hated shopping and I always got so tired after standing for such a long time.

"Oh come on. Rosalie is coming too. It will be like a girl's day," Alice replied. Rosalie wasn't the most welcoming towards me but she seemed that way towards everyone outside her family.

It was the Thursday before Valentine's Day which was on Saturday. For some unknown reason we had Friday off. I think that there it was some teachers institute day and I was going to spend the day relaxing. I had been feeling so rundown lately. Alice had taken an interest in my wardrobe which was perfectly fine to me. But thank goodness I couldn't.

"Sorry Alice but I already have plans." I tried to make my voice sound disappointed. Friday I had another therapy session. Although I didn't enjoy treatment I was still the lesser of two evils.

"Oh come on Bella. It will be fun. How come every time I ask you to go shopping you can never go?" Her face read annoyed.

I sighed. "Alice I'm sorry but I can't go alright." She was about to protest but then the bell rang. I guess the saying about 'saved by the bell' is true. Edward stood up from the table and waited for me to get my things.

"Come on Bella we're going to be late." He was amused by my slowness.

"No one said you had to wait." I grabbed the last of my things and we both started off in the direction of the science department.

"Sorry about Alice. Once she sets her mind to something there is no changing it. You didn't have to lie about having plans though, next time just tell her you don't want to go."

"Actually I wasn't lying. I do have plans on Friday and wouldn't have been able to go even had I wanted to." I said as a matter of fact.

"Oh," was all he said. "Well next time just tell her 'no'. She won't take it too hard."

"I like Alice and although I don't like shopping, she's still nice to be around." Alice had become somewhat of a friend. Friends weren't something I had a lot of growing up.

We finally made it to Biology and there were little balls of fluff laid out on the tables. Edward held my seat out for me as I blushed. He was too kind.

I looked down at the brown fur balls and I realized what they were.

"So I guess we're dissecting owl pellets today." I turned to Edward and he laughed. He knew what owl pellets were too. **(Owl Pellet: when owl's get rid of their meals and throw up little fur balls which contain the skeletons of whatever the owl ate. i.e. mice, voles…)**

"Ladies first."

"I'm not touching that." He laughed at my expression and took the plate with the pellet on it towards his side of the table.

The whole hour was spent looking and trying to differentiate between the radius and ulna of a mouse. We shared laughs when we disagreed on which bones were what and ended up breaking them by accident. It was five minutes till the end of class and our mouse seemed to be missing about half of its bones.

"Well we tried." We both laughed about our feeble attempt. I started to gather my stuff when Edward interrupted.

"Bella? I was wondering if on Saturday you wanted to have dinner with me?" His green eyes were sparkling when he asked me. My heart was about to thump out of my chest because I've wanted this for so long but then it stopped cold remembering my dad when it came to dating_._ He was always trying to keep me protected.

"I can't. I'm sorry." I bowed my head down in sadness.

"Oh, do you have something going on? What about Friday night instead?" He looked really eager. I couldn't take it anymore. I smiled.

"It's not that I have something going on that night." He looked so hurt and that's not what I meant at all. "I'm not allowed to date." I said. Realization hit him.

"But if I were to ask your dad and get him to agree, would you want to go?"

I smiled. "I would love to go on a date with you."

"Okay then." He seemed to take on my dad's rule as a personal mission. He looked smug that he was going to win over my dad, the chief of police.

"But nobody has swayed my dad yet," I whispered in his ear. We both smiled and I walked out of the classroom towards my car. That was somewhat true but no one has ever asked me out on a date before. This should be interested.

When I got home I thought I should make something my dad liked for dinner. Chicken enchiladas were one of his favorite Mexican dishes and it took awhile to cut all of the peppers and vegetables. I was almost finished making dinner when I heard my Charlie's cruiser pull into the driveway.

"Something smells good Bells." He slowly walked into the kitchen looking extremely tired.

"Hard day?" I asked.

"There are some thieves we've been trying to catch from the market in the middle of town. Poor owner keeps losing business because of it." Charlie sat down at the dining table and looked around to see what smelled so good.

"I'm sorry you had a hard day but I made chicken enchiladas to cheer you up." I picked up his plate and put it down in front of him.

"Wow this looks incredible." We both sat down to eat didn't bother to stop in order to talk about each other's days. We finally finished eating and I was started to clear the table of our dirty dishes.

"So I had an interesting visit from one of your friends today." He looked stern.

"Who?"

"Edward Cullen." I chose to take a sip of water at the wrong time when he said his name. I ended up choking and coughing to get it out of my lungs while my dad patted me on the back.

"I'm fine." I never actually thought that Edward would go to the police station to ask my dad in person. "And?"

"He asked me for permission to take you out on a date on Saturday. He was very persistent about it too. I like that, perseverance." He wasn't getting on with the point, the part I wanted to know.

"Dad can I go? I really want to and I've never really asked for anything much before." I put on my best puppy dog eyes. He paused and was silent for what seemed like forever.

"Bella are you sure this is good for you right now. I mean you just moved here and you're doing so much better now. Maybe you should wait awhile."

"Dad. Please don't do this." I hated it when he got all serious and I knew how hard it was for him to talk about all of this stuff.

"Well, if you want to go I guess you can. I just thought that I never thought I'd see this day." He smiled at me and I gave him a huge hug. I couldn't wait I had so much to do. First, there was a phone call I needed to make.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could while I was dialing his number on my cell. It rang twice before he answered.

"Hello."

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?" He responded.

"Get my dad to say yes. I never thought he would. So where are we going?" I was way too enthusiastic to stop my questions.

"Don't worry about anything. Alice will be there to help you before we leave. She'll be there around 4:30 and I will pick you up at 6. Everything is a surprise."

"I can't wait. I'm so excited." I heard a faint knock on the door. "I have to go. I'll see you on Saturday." I hung up the phone and got up to open the door. "Dad? Is something wrong?"

"Take a seat." I walked over to my bed and he sat on the edge. "Most dads give their daughters a speech about being careful with boys because they have dishonorable intentions." I sat there with wide eyes in complete embarrassment. "But sweetie, this isn't just about you getting your heart broken. It's about his too. I'm going to guess that you haven't told him about your condition and I just want you to be careful because if it does come back, then he's going to be the one with his heart broken." He looked very serious, like I needed to be really careful about what I was doing.

"Dad. For once I just want to have some fun. I don't want to worry about disease, or hospitals, or treatments. Can I please just be normal? It's why I moved here." I tried to smile but I wanted to cry.

"Sweetie don't cry. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you." He reached over and pulled me into a bear of a hug. He let go and kissed my head. "Goodnight kiddo. I love you."

"I love you too." I was way too excited to sleep. All I could do was think about my date on Saturday.

**I'm going to update really soon.**

**Thanks for the review guys 3 **


	6. Chapter 6: First Date

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

It was Saturday afternoon and I couldn't wait for my date with Edward tonight. It was 4 o'clock and I was staring at myself in the mirror. I looked absolutely ordinary. My hair never really grew back the same after my last remission. Instead of being straight it had little ringlets that made it slightly curly at the bottom. My nails were yellowish and disgusting looking. But my nails and hair were nothing compared to how my skin looked ashen.

Why on earth would Edward ask me out? I looked revolting. There is nothing attractive about me. If he only really knew why I looked like this. In the midst of trying to make my hair have a natural sheen the doorbell rang.

Alice was standing at the door with outfits in her hands and a big box. I had completely forgotten that Edward told me she was coming over.

"Hi Alice. What is all of this stuff?" She didn't even bother to look at me when she walked into the house and let herself up the stairs.

"Edward has only given me an hour and a half to get you ready for your date and that's not a lot of time at all. Let's get started."

"You really don't have to do this you know?"

"Any friend of Edward's is a friend of mine. Besides I'm good at this sort of thing and I want to help." She led me into the bathroom where she pulled out a small stool for me to sit on.

She started on my hair and then worked on my toes and fingernails. By the end I didn't look that bad. My nails even looked a little more normal.

Alice then laid three outfits out for me to choose from. The first was a mini skirt and a very low cut top, so that was out of the question. It would have shown off my scar on my breast bone from the catheter. The second was a hot red dress that was the complete opposite of me. The third was a flowy skirt that hit the knees and a sweater that would cover all of my scars up.

"The third one. That's the one I want to wear." I smiled when I held up the outfit. I quickly went into the bathroom and changed. When I came out Alice applauded. I have to say that when I could look past Alice's bubbliness and hyperness, she was a really great friend.

"Your date is going to be perfect. I thought Edward was gay for the longest time but then he met you and I realized he was just waiting for the right girl." I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee in my pants. She laughed to letting me know she was joking about him being gay.

"Do I get any hints about where he's taking me?" I asked.

"Nope. Edward has sworn me to complete secrecy." I sighed in resignation but right after the doorbell rang. My heart picked up at the sound.

Alice and I walked down the stairs and my dad was walking towards the door.

"How do I look dad?"

"You look great Bells. Are you sure you're going to be warm enough. Maybe you should take a jacket just in case." I was barely paying attention to him at this point. All I could think about was Edward on the other side of that door.

I opened up the door and Edward was waiting looking as handsome as ever. He was wearing jeans with a black button up shirt with the sleeves pushed up his arms. He was also wearing that favorite crooked smile of mine.

"You look beautiful Bella" Edward said. I blushed since my dad was waiting right there. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yup. Goodnight dad. I won't be out late I promise." I turned to give my dad a hug and then Edward grabbed my hand and we walked down the driveway into his Volvo. "Okay, now do I get any hints about where we're going?"

He laughed and then said, "nope." I enjoyed the ride though. His right hand always stayed locked with my left and his warmth was so comforting to hold. Edward played soft classical music in the background while we talked silently about random things.

We drove for almost 45 minutes when Edward stopped on the outskirts of Seattle. The weather was unseasonably warm and I didn't even need the jacket over my sweater. Edward walked around the car and helped me out of the car when I realized we were in a park and there was a big screen at one end of it.

"This is an old fashion movie night. I have a spot saved for us right over here."

There was a blanket set up right against a tree and a picnic basket left on the ground. "I got some of everything because I didn't know what you would like to eat. The movie starts in a half an hour so we have time to get settled."

"What did you bring?" I peeked into the basket.

"I've got fruit, salad, chicken, and some desserts which include apple pie and chocolate cake." My mouth was hanging open. It all looked so good.

"And you made this all by yourself?"

"Actually I did. I made everything but the desserts. I've never been much of a baker so my mom made those."

"I'm impressed. You'll have to cook for me sometime."

"I would love to but my mom really is the cook in the family."

"Do you and your mom spend a lot of time together?" I inquired.

"Well Esme was the one who used to bring me here when I was a kid because I like old fashion movies. My father was always working late and everyone else was always out with friends. It was just me and my mom so this is what we would do."

"Why didn't you go out with friends?" I was very curious about this. I would have thought he had lots of friends because he was so kind but he seemed to be a loner like me.

"I guess I never really found someone worth spending time with. It was like no one was on the same wavelength as me." He chuckled at the last part.

"Until you met me." I smiled at him.

"Right, until I met you. You're so different that anyone I've ever met. I can't even explain it." We stared into each other's eyes until it started to get dark out and the movie started.

The night was going perfectly. Dinner was delicious and Edward was propped up against the tree with me right next to him while there was a very romantic old fashion film up on the big screen. A light breeze swept through and I shivered from the cold.

"Are you cold?" Edward asked.

"Just a little. I should have brought that jacket." He looked at me solemnly and then opened up his arms.

"Come here" was all he said. I adjusted myself so I was leaning against his warm chest with his arms wrapped around me. It amazed me how perfectly I fit into his arms. It was like they were made for me.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked. I didn't want to hurt him.

"I'm perfect. Are you comfortable?" I smiled.

"I've never been better."

I didn't think this night could get any more perfect. As the movie was about to end there was a slow song playing. "Do you want to dance?" he asked.

I couldn't even respond I just blushed. "I can't dance." He only laughed as he stood up and then took my hand.

"It's all in the leading." Edward looked so confident He took my hand and pulled me close. The song was just the perfect tempo as we swayed from side to side. I never realized how sweet his scent was. I just laid my head against his chest and kept taking deep breaths. But then the movie ended and people started to get up and leave.

"I guess it is in the leading because so far I'm doing really well." Edward laughed.

"And why are you so clumsy?"

"I guess I was born that way. Neither of my parents have had lots of poise."

Edward and I danced until the credits stopped rolling. The screen turned off and the park turned very dark.

"I guess I should take you home now. I don't want the chief of police to send out an amber alert for you" he said with a chuckle.

"You think you're joking." Charlie would be the one to send out a search squad for me if I wasn't home by a decent hour.

I was really hurt though. I didn't want this night to end. It was the perfect first date but there was something missing. It was almost midnight when Edward dropped me off at my house.

Edward got out of his side and walked me to the door. All the lights were off, Charlie must already be asleep.

"So did you have fun?" Edward asked.

"I did. It was the best date I've ever been on." I laughed hoping he would catch my joke.

He laughed too. "Well then we'll just have to have the best second date you've ever been on." I wasn't really listening anymore. The moonlight reflected off his eyes making him look unreal.

"Would you mind if I kissed you right now?" He was so hot when he was sweet. I just shook my head from side to side. He slowly bent down and closed the distance between us.

His lips were so soft and sweet against mine. He was taking it nice and slow which was wonderful. I didn't want to get too far ahead of myself. His lips left mine and I felt a tingling sensation against my lips. I smiled at him and whispered "goodnight."

"Goodnight Bella." He turned and I watched as he backed out of the driveway and drove down the street.

I opened the door with my fingers touching the spot on my lips that wouldn't stop tingling.

"How was your night?" My heart completely stopped when I saw my dad lying on the couch half asleep.

"Dad! Don't do that to me!" I put my hand over my heart trying to get it back to normal speed.

"Sorry kiddo. I didn't mean to scare you. So how was your date?"

"It was fun." I didn't really want to discuss this with him so I tried to be stealth walking up the stairs.

"What did you guys do?" Ugh. He was going to be nosey.

"Um we watched a movie." I hoped being vague would get him off my back.

"Anything else?"

"Sorry dad but I'm really tired. I'm going to bed." I gave him a hug and a quick peck on the cheek.

I was finally ready for bed when I realized how tired I was. Today had taken a lot out of me. It probably wasn't a good idea to have been so active so soon after my therapy. I really needed to slow down. This was getting to be too much.

That night I slept uneasily. I dreamt that Edward was sick in the hospital with cancer and there was nothing I could do. The heart monitor flat lined and I was screaming his name.

"Edward! Edward!" All of a sudden I woke up shaking and crying. Charlie was sitting on my bed holding me.

"Sweetheart calm down. It was only a dream." I was too scared to even comprehend what he was saying.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." That was all I could say. I just felt so sorry for Edward and for myself. I didn't even know why. Charlie had finally gotten me to calm down but I couldn't fall back asleep. I just kept thinking about how scared I felt to lose Edward. It was as if I loved him in my dream. But it was just a dream. It was too early to love him yet or maybe it wasn't.

**Sorry it took so long to update. Hope you guys like it. Review are always appreciated. ******


	7. Chapter 7: Meadow

**Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Edward and I were inseparable at school. He would always meet me after my classes and walk me to my next. Edward had also taken it upon himself to pick me up in the mornings and drop me off back at my house after school.

Today was Wednesday and we were sitting in Biology together working on another lab. Edward and I were asking each other questions about what we did or didn't like.

"Where was your favorite place to go when you were a kid?" Edward asked me.

I knew that answer right away. "My mom and I used to drive west and go to this beach on the southern tip of California. The water was always warm and it was really quiet there because it wasn't a popular beach." Whenever the doctors cleared me to leave the hospital my mom and I would drive there to celebrate.

"Do you have any pictures? I would love to see it. All the beaches around here are cold, so we don't go very often."

"No. We never really took many pictures of us there." The truth, I would never show pictures there because I never had any hair. It was never my shining moment there, but at least I was happy.

"My mom would always say that my smile was always the biggest at that beach." I laughed remembering how my mom chased the seagulls around trying to get me to smile.

"There was this place I found when I was hiking one time. It's no beach but it's peaceful enough. Having four siblings is never quiet," Edward explained.

"That must be nice."

"It is nice to have a place to go to when you want to get away."

"So does that mean you're not going to show me this magic place?" He smiled at me.

"Do you want to go? It's supposed to be warm on Saturday." His face looked so eager it was hard to say 'no' but I had therapy on Saturday.

"I had plans but I think I can rearrange them." He was too cute to say 'no' to.

"So Saturday it is?" He smiled as we both started to get up and grab our things before the bell rang.

"Yup." Edward walked me to gym and gave me a quick kiss on the lips before he turned and headed towards Spanish. My heart was flying. Why did he have to do that to me?

I was too excited about Saturday to even focus on what was happening. I was completely off in my own mind walking around the gym when all of a sudden a basketball came hurtling towards me and hit me in the head.

The force knocked me over. Lying on my back a bunch of people began to crowd around me.

"Bella? Can you hear me? How many fingers and I holding up?" My gym teacher asked me.

"I'm fine and you're holding up two fingers." There was a slight ringing in my ears though and there was already a lump forming on my head. I tried to get up but it took Mike's help for me to stand up straight.

"Mike take her to the Nurse's office and make sure she's okay." Mike nodded and led me towards the nurse's station which was in the next building over.

"I'm sorry about hitting you with the basketball. I threw it to Eric but he missed it and it went out of bounds."

"It's fine Mike. It doesn't even hurt that bad."

"Why do you walk in gym class instead of participating?" He asked me.

"Sports induced asthma. I've never been in gym class." I lied.

We finally made it to the nurse's office and Mike held the door open for me.

"Oh sweetie look at that bump. I'll take her from here, you can go back to class," she ordered to Mike. Thank goodness he left, of course the nurse knew about me.

"Come over here and make sure there's no damage." She lightly probed against my head taking notes about where I winced.

"Well I think you'll be fine but that will leave a huge bruise. You should also tell your doctor about this just in case." I wasn't even listening at this point. I just kept the ice pack on my head thinking about the grief Charlie wasn't going to put me through about not being careful.

"I'll be fine." I promised.

The bell finally rang for the end of school. I left the nurse's station with a note to give to my dad. I walked back into the locker room and changed knowing Edward was waiting outside.

I pushed open the door and sure enough Edward was leaning against the opposite wall waiting for me.

"How was gym class?" He asked me. Clearly he didn't see the bruise on my forehead yet.

"It was fine." I lied as I reached for his hand to take it in mine. "How was Spanish?"

"Pretty boring until…" he broke off noticing the massive lump on my head.

"Bella! What did you do?" He was holding my face between his hands while inspecting the lump for himself.

"It's nothing. I was walking when Mike accidentally threw the ball in the wrong direction and it hit me in the head." I explained.

"Mike did this to you?!" Edward looked very angry. He let go of my face and started to search the sea of students for Mike. Edward finally found him and started to walk away but I grabbed his hand and held him back.

"Edward" I warned. "It was an accident and I'm sure I'll be fine. Leave him alone." Edward took one look at my pleading face and he sighed in resignation.

"Fine but if he ever hurts you again he'll have me to answer to." Men and their over protectiveness. Edward drove me home like always and left when he dropped me off. He would stay but my dad had been taking earlier shifts which meant he would get home earlier.

Charlie was as upset as ever. The moment he saw the bruise he jumped to terrible conclusions. He made me promise to be careful before I could even start my homework. Of course this all worked out because Charlie made me an appointment with Dr. Cullen after school tomorrow so he could check out my head and decided that he could do my therapy while I was there.

**Saturday**

I opened the door before Edward even had a chance to knock. He smiled, "Are you ready to go?"

"Um yeah, just let me get my jacket." I grabbed my jacket off the sofa and shut the door behind me when I left. "So where are we going exactly?"

"I told you. It's a place I found when I was walking in the forest. It's not that far off the trail on the southern end of town."

It only took about 10 minutes to get there and when I stepped out of the car that I noticed how nice the weather was. The sun was shining brightly and there were only a few clouds in the sky.

"Ready?" Edward asked as he held his hand out for me to grab.

"So how long of a walk is it?"

"It's only about 20 minutes. It's not that long." He was right. It only took us about 30 minutes to get there with my slow pace.

It was a huge open field that had small purple flowers everywhere and a small creek that ran right through the middle of the field.

"Wow," was all I could say. "How…when…this is incredible."

"I told you." Edward sat down on a spot right next to the creek. He took his backpack off and opened it up. Inside was a small bag full of food.

"This is amazing. A picnic on a beautiful day. What more could I ask for?"

"How about a kiss?" Edward asked. I laughed as I sat up and gave him a kiss.

"What's for lunch? I'm starving!" Edward laughed.

"We have one BLT sandwich, one Italian wrap, potato chips, fruit salad, and two bottles of water."

"And what's for dessert?"

"Me of course." I slapped Edward's shoulder.

Edward and I spent the whole afternoon asking each other questions about our favorite things.

"What's your favorite genre of books?" He asked me.

"I really like English literature. The classics like Wuthering Heights and Mansfield Park but those aren't my favorite books."

"What's your favorite then?" I knew he was going to laugh when I told him.

"The Little Prince." He did laugh. "Hey. Don't make fun! I can't help it. My mom used to read it to me when I was little and I've never gotten sick of it."

"What do you like so much about it?"

"Um…probably how the little prince never grew up. He always saw the bigger picture in everything because he didn't understand the little troubles life throws at us. It just makes me think that life would be so much easier if I never had to worry about the stupid things in life. Why? What's your favorite book?"

He smiled when he answered. "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Emmett used to read it to me when we were younger. I'm not even sure I like the book but whenever I read it I just think of time when we were younger."

Edward and I laid there in silence holding each others hands while watching clouds form in the sky. I give it an hour before it rains.

"Tell me a secret," he said.

"I hate it when people chew gum with their mouth open." He laughed.

"That's not a real secret. That's a pet peeve." I sighed while thinking about whether I should tell him. It wasn't fair to keep whatever we had going if I wasn't honest. But one look in those green eyes and I couldn't bear to hurt him.

"When I can't sleep at night I like to stay up at night and think about all the things I want to do in life. Like college, career, and everything that comes with." It was true. "But now that I've told you a secret you have to tell me a secret."

He rolled over one his side and I did the same. He kissed me very passionately on the lips. When we broke apart he said, "I think I'm falling for you." I stared into those green eyes and completely forgot anything I was thinking.

Edward and I spent the rest of the afternoon kissing and holding hands until it started to rain.

"I knew the weather couldn't hold out." He laughed and packed up all of the Tupperware and we ran back to his car. When we got back to my house we were completely soaked.

Edward and I sprinted up to the door and I used the key up on the ledge to open it. "Come on, I'll get you a towel." The house was freezing giving me goose bumps.

"Here," I said as I handed him the towel.

"Jeeze Bella. You're freezing! He took the towel and wrapped it around me while hugging me against his chest.

"Then maybe you should warm me up." I reached up and locked lips with his. The towel wasn't enough to keep me warm and I started to tremble in his arms. "I'm going to go change. I'll be right back down." I ran upstairs and threw on a pair of sweats. When I came back down Edward was no longer in the living room.

"Edward?"

"In here." His voice came from the kitchen. When I walked in I saw him staring at the picture on the bulletin board in the corner.

"Oh no. Don't look at those." He laughed and I walked over to him.

"You were such a cute baby. Is this your mom?"

"Yeah."

"You look just like her."

"Ha-ha. She's a lot prettier than me. These on the right were taken before my parents split up. And then the ones on the left were when my dad would come down to visit."

Those were the good memories I had of the rare times when I was in remission. We had so many good times together but then I would relapse and the happy memories were gone.

I was thinking about what to make for dinner when Charlie walked in the door.

"Bella? You home?"

"Hi dad. Edward's here too."

"Oh." He didn't seem too upset. "I got pizza on the way home. I thought you deserved a night off. Edward, why don't you join us?"

"I'd be delighted Chief Swan."

"Call me Charlie." I didn't think I would see the day when Charlie would be so warm towards Edward. I knew Charlie meant well. He would never purposefully be mean to Edward. He was just protective of me.

"So what did you guys do today? Edward's clothes look soaked."

"We were taking a walk when it started to pour. Took us a few minutes to get back," I responded. Edward and I laughed at the memory of us getting caught in the rain.

Dinner was great. I didn't think Edward and Charlie would get along so well. After dinner the two of them decided to watch ESPN together. I didn't really get football but the two of them went at it for almost 3 hours talking about drafts and Emmett playing in college.

It was getting dark and the game was over. "I need to get going so my parents don't worry. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay." He leaned down and kissed me before hugging me goodnight and running into the rain to get to his car. I waved goodbye and went back into the house.

"I like him," Charlie said. "Good kid."

"And you thought you had to be all protective," I said in a mocking tone.

"I just want you to be safe. I think he's really good for you."

"I do too. I'm going to hit the sack. I'm really tired. Goodnight dad."

"Night sweetie."

**Hope you guys liked it. Thank you for your reviews. I should be updating soon. 3 **


	8. Chapter 8: Shopping

**Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

Alice has decided that I am in need of a shopping trip and although I would rather spend the day with Edward, she was right.

Arriving promptly at 9 o'clock on a Saturday morning was just ridiculous. Of course being Alice, the only decent mall was in Seattle so the drive would take some time.

"Alice? Is it really necessary to get me up this early on a Saturday? I mean there's still 12 hours of daylight to shop."

"Excuse me Bella but you seriously need some new clothes and that could take awhile. You've never shopped with me before so you don't understand."

"I should be afraid." Truth be told I was. Edward warned me but I told him I would be fine. Now I'm not so sure.

"It's not going to be that bad besides everyone wants to go to the movies tonight so we have to be back by 6." Alice seemed really upset by this.

"6?! 6?! Alice! I can't make it that long!" I wasn't exaggerating. Dr. Cullen was not happy at all when he saw the bruise on my forehead and after having to spend the day being lectured by him and receiving therapy, I was wiped out.

"Oh relax Bella. You're such a worry wart like Edward. We'll take a lunch break and maybe one more if you need it." Like this calmed me. This was going to be bad.

After about a half an hour of driving Alice decided to change the subject.

"So you and my brother seem to be getting along?" Alice smiled as she said this.

"I've never met anyone like him before. He's different." I couldn't really put my finger on what it was about Edward that made me so attracted to him without sounding cheesy.

"He really likes you, you know?" Alice's smile was exuberant by this point. "Edward's never really fit in with anyone. Not even in our family. Rosalie and Emmett are close and Jasper and I have always been on the same page. But Edward has always been so to himself. He never really had any friends until he met you. Something about you is so different than anyone and he saw that." I thought I saw a tear in her eye.

"I'm glad I could be of service." I didn't want to admit how much Edward and I were alike. Nor did I want to admit how much I liked Edward either. Alice was already emotional enough for the two of us.

It was only a few minutes later that we arrived at the mall. Alice of course insisted on going into the most expensive stores which of course had nothing that I could afford but Alice just kept throwing clothes at me.

"Oh Bella look at this!" She was holding up a strapless purple silk dress which was absolutely gorgeous. I never even liked wearing dresses but that dress was drop dead amazing.

"It's beautiful," I said as I lightly grazed the hem of the dress.

"You should get. Edward would love it on you." She was practically bouncing out of her skin but I could never wear something like that.

"Alice be reasonable. Where would I ever wear a dress like that?"

I decided to just weave around the fact that I could and would never wear that dress due to the fact that my scar would be screaming 'look how disgusting I am!'.

"To the prom silly. It's only like two months away. Has Edward asked you yet?" I hadn't even thought about the prom. I was only a junior for one thing and dancing was so not my thing. Even if I was a senior I still wouldn't go.

"No he hasn't brought it up. I don't really think the prom is my sort of thing and that decision has nothing to do with Edward. I've just never enjoyed the whole dance thing."

"But Bella this is the prom! You can't not go!" She was really starting to get on my nerves but I've learned a thing or two from being in the hospital. Even if you don't agree with someone just tell them that you do so they leave you alone.

"Alice I promise that if I do decide to go to the prom that we can go pick out a dress but not this dress. It will be a waste of money if I don't go." She sighed and put the dress back.

"Fine but you promise I get to help you shop for a dress if you do decide to go?" She looked so stern it was making me laugh.

"I promise now can we please to go some decently priced stores?" I put on my best pleading face until she finally conceded.

It had been almost 3 hours until Alice let me eat. We stopped in the food court and found a place to sit and eat.

"I really like that sweater you got earlier. It makes you look like you have a really great shape. Not that you don't have one but it just accentuates it that much more."

Alice kept rambling on about clothes and shops that she liked. I just tuned her out looking at people in the mall. There was an elderly couple holding hands and a young boy with his father sitting by the fountain. They all looked so happy. It made me wonder if that's how Charlie and I looked to everyone else. If we looked happy on the outside. If we looked like a happy family.

That's when I noticed them. It was a mother who looked too young to be a mom and her daughter who looked about 7. The little girl had a bandana covering up her bald held and she was crying. I could see the catheter sticking out of her cardigan which she wore over her sundress.

"Momma I want my teddy bear!" She was bawling her eyes out.

"I'm sorry sweetie but you must have dropped it." The mom was doing everything to soothe her daughter while at the same time looking frantically for the teddy bear. "Why don't we get you another bear? How does that sound?"

"No I want that bear. You don't understand!" People were noticing the little girl crying and were starting to give her pity looks. After about half the food court cleared out to avoid the scene that was happening I noticed the bear lying on the ground in front of a children's store. I stood up and starting walking towards the bear.

Alice finally broke out of her rant. "Bella? Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," I said over my shoulder while I kept walking. I picked up the bear off the ground and started towards the little girl and her mom.

"Excuse me but is this your bear?" She lifted her head up and smiled when she saw the bear I was holding.

"You found him!" She came running over to me and took the bear out of my hand giving him a huge hug.

"Thank you so much," said her mom. "Where did you find him?"

"I saw him in front of that store over there," I said where I pointed. "I though he looked a little lonely. What's her name?"

"This is Katie. She loves that bear more than anything. Thank goodness you found it." By this point everyone had left us alone and when I turned to look at Alice she was on her cell phone.

"Hi Katie. I'm Bella. This bear must be very special to you but I would recommend that you keep hold onto it really tightly, okay?"

She looked up at me and then gave me a big hug. I squatted down so I was at eye level with her.

"I know that this bear is special because he's got the same features as you. He's been through everything you've been through and when you get scared at night you hold onto him. And when the doctor comes in and starts using big words that you don't understand you talk to him in your own language that just the two of you understand. And when you don't feel well and start to get sick you keep him in your bed so he doesn't get sick too, right?"

She just nodded her head at me like I was an angel or something. "Keep him safe okay?"

She nodded her head again still holding onto the bear like no tomorrow. I stood up and looked up at her mom. "Hi, I'm Bella. I have ALL or at least I'm in remission." I stuck out my hand for her to shake it.

"I'm Miranda and this is my daughter whom you've already met. She's got APL." We both looked down at her.

"A rarity. I hope she gets better." I waved goodbye and started to walk back to Alice. She had finally hung up the phone.

"What was that all about?"

"There was a girl who dropped her bear and I happened to find it. So I went over and gave it to her." Alice turned and looked at the little girl waving to me and she and her mom walked out of the food court.

"That was really nice of you," she commented.

"I was just doing the right thing. So are you doing more shopping or are you done for the day?"

"Please Bella I'm just getting warmed up." We both laughed as we stood up and emptied out trays.

"So who was on the phone?"

"Oh that was Rosalie. I guess Edward, Jasper, you, and I are all going out to see a movie tonight. She was just letting me know that we have to be back at 5."

"What movie are we going to go see?"

"The Hangover I think? I'm not really sure."

"Sounds like fun." I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to make it tonight. I'd probably just end up falling asleep through the movie but if it meant I could be with Edward then I guess I could make it.

The thought of Edward kept me going all afternoon and when Alice finally admitted that we had done all the damage we could butterflies fluttered in my stomach with anticipation.

Alice drove us home in record time and we went straight to the movie theater. Alice pulled up right next to Edward's Volvo. I jumped out and ran straight into his arms almost knocking him over.

"Hi," he chuckled as I kissed him. I didn't really want to talk so I just kept kissing him.

"Uhh hmm," Alice hiccupped. "Sorry to interrupt but Bella should get all of her bags out of my trunk and into your car if you plan on driving her home."

Edward set me back on my feet as he walked towards Alice's car to help with the bags.

"Clearly you girls did some damage. I hope she wasn't too bad Bella." He looked afraid for my answer.

"It wasn't too bad except for the fact that I don't think I can walk." I chuckled as I said that.

Edward leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Do you want me to carry you?" I couldn't help but blush.

"I think I can manage the walk thank you. Although, I might have to take you up on that offer." He smiled back at me before he gave me one last kiss.

Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, Edward, and I walked into the theater which was not very crowded. The movie had probably been out for awhile.

Edward and I sat on the end and we raised the arm rest between us so I could snuggle up against his side.

"So Alice wasn't too too bad was she?" Edward asked me.

"No she wasn't that bad." I smiled and kissed him. It was so cute how worried he was about me but I didn't need to worry him. I wasn't sure that I was going to make it through the movie and a headache was coming on from being so tired.

The lights in the theater turned down and the movie started. It was a good thing that it was a comedy and extremely hilarious otherwise I would have passed out. Afterwards Edward drove me home in his car and while everyone else went home with Alice.

"So did you have a nice time today?" Edward asked as he pulled into my driveway.

"Yes but it would have been better if I'd spent it with you." I leaned over and kissed him on the lips. He kissed me back while his hand cupped my face. I had to break apart though from exhaustion.

"I should just say goodbye out here so Charlie won't disturb us."

"That's a good idea," Edward agreed.

"Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight Bella."

Edward gave me one last kiss before I got out of the Volvo and got my bags out of his trunk. I could never seem to get enough of him. He was like oxygen that I needed to stay afloat. When I wasn't around him it was like stuffy air and when I could finally breathe in his scent my mind would go numb. It was the most incredible feeling. I'm really falling for him.

**Thanks for the reviews guys!**


	9. Chapter 9: Dinner

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Edward and I had been dating for 2 months. The time had just flown by. Edward and I did everything together. He took me to Seattle to get new books and he would always come to pick me up in the morning and stay with me after school until Charlie came home. Edward and I fit together perfectly. There was no awkwardness between us. It was like we had known each other forever.

"You know Emmett is coming home this weekend from college." Edward and I were in my kitchen making dinner for me and my dad. It was beef stroganoff, one of Charlie's personal favorites.

"Is there a specific reason you told me or are you just being random?" He laughed while he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Well my mom is making a big deal of it and she's making a really nice dinner for all of us and she wanted to know if you would join us. My mom and dad know that we've been dating for a long time and they still haven't met you. So will your come?" I dropped the knife I was holding and turned myself around in his arms.

"I don't know. What if they don't like me?" Edward laughed out loud.

"How could they not like you? You are the sweetest, most caring, most loving woman I have ever met." He began to kiss up my neck stopping right before he reached my lips. He lips lightly brushed over mine while he breathed out and I breathed in. I couldn't take it anymore and I took his face between my hands and kissed him so hard I though he was actually going to fall over. His hands grabbed my hips and he knocked me back into the counter. I parted my lips and his tongue entered my mouth. It was unbearable and I almost fell backwards but my hand reached back to stop me and landed right on top of the knife I put on the counter. I pulled back and grabbed my hand. There was blood dripping over the counter onto the onions.

"Here get it under cold water" Edward grabbed my hand and put it under the faucet. "I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to get hurt." Edward looked like he wanted to kill himself.

"Calm down Edward. It was an accident. Maybe if your kissing expertise wasn't distracting me I wouldn't have cut myself." I looked up at him and smiled in hopes that he wouldn't think it was his fault. He pulled my hand away and Edward examined it.

"I don't think you need stitches but it is kind of deep. Just keep it wrapped in the towel."

"Would you please lighten up. It's a cut not the end of the world. I hope your mother doesn't think I'm crazy and I'm a cutter or anything when I meet her." That was sure to soften him up.

"So you're coming?" I finally got him to smile.

"If you're in, then I'm in. Besides she's probably going to think I'm crazy anyway."

"You Isabella Swan are not crazy. I wouldn't want to be the one dating the crazy person." He and I both laughed.

Friday finally arrived and Edward was driving me to his house. Then it hit me that I've never been to his house before. It was in the forest hiding behind trees but when it came into view it was the grandest, most luxurious white house I've ever seen.

"You're house is amazing." I couldn't help but stare as Edward led me to the front door and opened it to a huge white foyer with so much light I could have thought I was in heaven.

"Bella! This must be the famous Bella. Edward hasn't stopped talking about you." Mrs. Cullen walked towards me and gave me a huge hug. Edward just smiled at me.

"Mrs. Cullen your house is amazing. Thank you for having me."

"Oh call me Esme. Carlisle is around here somewhere but I'm not sure where. Probably checking out cars with the boys and Rosalie. Well make yourselves at home; dinner should be ready at 7." She turned around and walked back into the kitchen after giving her son a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"You're mom is amazing. So young looking" I praised.

"Yeah, except it comes back to bite her in the butt when she still gets carded buying an alcoholic drink." That made me laugh. Renee would give anything to be carded. Thinking of my mom made me a little sad.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

"Oh it's nothing. I just miss my mom that's all." I grabbed his hand and put on a happy face.

"So are you ready for a tour of the house?"

"Absolutely." I smiled as he pulled me towards the stairs. It turns out his room is on the third floor of the house in the back which had a whole side with windows that overlooked the river running through the forest.

"This is unbelievable." The other side of the room had every kind of book and CD possible. It would take a whole week just to get through all of the titles. "Have you read all of these?"

"Mostly all of them. The bottom shelf here are books I've borrowed from my dad."

"This is incredible. I always just got my books from the library. I'm going to have to borrow some of these. This is quite impressive."

"Well if you think I have an impressive book collection you should see my dads." He laughed as he grabbed my arm and dragged down the hall.

"Your dad?" I completely forgot about his dad. Was it going to be weird? Was he going to be able to keep my secret from Edward? I'd gotten pretty close to Dr. Cullen over the past few weeks during my treatment.

"Yeah, he's a book collector. He has every classic known to English Literature." My nervousness was erased when I saw Dr. Cullen's library collection. There were bookshelves 10 feet high surrounding the whole room.

"Edward I don't think we should just come in here."

"It's okay. He always lets me borrow his books and if I lend the books to you then there's no problem." He looked at me with his green eyes and I was immediately dazzled. I couldn't help but smile and begin to scan the shelves. Just as I was about to choose one the door opened.

"Oh, Edward, Bella I didn't think you would be here. I thought you would be outside with the rest of the kids checking Emmett's new car" Dr. Cullen said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. Edward said it would be okay." I glared at Edward.

"No of course it is okay. It's good to see you Bella." He stuck out his hand for me to shake it.

"It's nice to see you too Dr. Cullen." I stuck out my hand to shake his.

"Please call me Carlisle. It makes me feel younger." All three of us laughed. Carlisle looked down at my hand and noticed the cut there. "What happened to your hand?"

"Oh… I had an accident and I cut my hand on a knife. It's no big deal." Carlisle kept looking at it though.

"Huh…well if it doesn't get better in a couple of days come to my office so I can check it out. Okay?"

"Yeah, no problem."

"Okay. Stay out of trouble you two. Esme's got enough on her plate with Emmett being home. I'll see you two later."

Edward and I continued to look at the books and debate about which romance novels were the best.

"We should probably head downstairs, dinner should be ready soon," Edward said.

"Okay." I grabbed Edward's hand as we both walked down the stairs.

The entire dining room table looked like a picture of a Martha Stewart Magazine. Everyone was already gathering around the table when Edward and I took our seats.

"Esme, this meal looks amazing. My mom never had edible food."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. It's terrible she always had fast food." Esme looked so sad at this thought but it made me laugh.

"No. I meant that my mom attempted cooking but none of it was ever safe to eat." Everyone at the table started laughing. Truth be told I loved my mom's cooking. After 2 years of hospital food, whatever my mom made tasted like heaven to me.

"So Eddie? Looks like you're not gay after all. I guess I owe Jasper 50 bucks." Emmett got all of the kids to laugh but Edward turned bright red. I could tell he hated the name Eddie and his brother was trying to torture him.

"Emmet Cullen. Don't you dare talk like that at the dinner table." Esme scolded her son.

"Oh no he was but when he saw me I swayed him to the straight side." Even Carlisle and Esme laughed too.

"I like this one Eddie. She's a keeper." Edward finally smiled. Under the table our hands were twined and resting on my lap. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"So Bella, what did you do back in Arizona? I'm sure a lot of sports?" Esme asked.

"Nope. I was much more of an indoor kid." I said. "I know I'm supposed to be like sporty and tan and everything but I've always been the quiet, clumsy, pale girl." Emmett started to laugh at me.

"So I guess that means you're not going to play football with us later?" he asked.

"Definitely not." I smiled. I always wished that I could play a physical sport. My mom would have a heart attack if she found out and with Carlisle here, I would never get to play. My eyes gazed over to where Carlisle was sitting but he was absentmindedly talking to Alice.

After dinner everyone went into the living room and turned on Emmett's football games. Edward and I just stared at each other while our hands were intertwined on his lap. Football never caught my interest and Edward got to be pretty bored himself.

"Do you want to go back upstairs?" Edward asked in my ear so no one else would hear. I turned to him and nodded. We slowly made our way upstairs and everyone was so involved in their own conversations that nobody noticed. When we got to his room he slammed the door shut and grabbed me around the waist and kissed me. My back was pressed against the bedroom door and his tongue entered my mouth. I moaned and his hands tangled themselves into my hair. It felt so amazing until I got a sharp pain in my head. I gasped and pulled away. My hands flew straight up to my temples.

"Bella? Are you okay?" The pain was so intense I couldn't respond. "Do you want me to get Carlisle?" That was the last thing I wanted. The pain went away as soon as it came.

"I'm fine. I think."

"Here, come over here to the bed and lie down." He took my hand and led me over to the bed. "Do you feel nauseous?" His concern was so strong. His hands felt my forehead for a temperature.

"Edward I'm seriously fine. It was nothing." He didn't seem to believe me though. "I wasn't done kissing you by the way." When I turned my head to kiss him he pulled away.

"Maybe I should take you home. You're looking a little pale."

"You've got to be kidding me. It was nothing and now you're just seeing things." I didn't want him to ruin a perfectly good evening because of a stupid little headache.

"Come on. Let me take you home it's getting late and Charlie will be wondering where you are." I took his hand and he led me downstairs.

"Everyone, I'm going to be taking Bella home. She's not feeling well." I glared at him. He didn't have to add that last line.

"Oh sweetie, are you feeling okay?" Esme got off the couch and made her way over to me. She put her hand on my face and then frowned. "You feel a little warm but not that you have a fever." Then Carlisle came over to me.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay Bella?" His look was so severe that I almost wanted to backtrack. "I could go get my bag and take a look."

"No it's just a headache. Just a _normal_ headache." I said with the same severity. Carlisle's and mine's attitude was making the room very uncomfortable.

"Jeez dad, it's just a headache, nothing serious. I'm taking her home right now." Edward took my hand and led me out the door and into his car. "Sorry about my dad. I've never seen him act that way. Weird."

"Yeah weird but then again he's around sick people all day. He probably just wanted to make sure I was okay. Which I am by the way" I responded with a stern look. The rest of the ride home was silent. Edward pulled into my driveway. "Charlie's home so I'll just say goodnight here. Goodnight."

"Goodnight" Edward whispered as he leaned over to kiss me goodnight. As he did his hand fit securely over my cheek and it looked as if he was checking to make sure I was okay.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and walked into the house. Charlie was waiting up as I expected and he looked very angry. "Dad? What's wrong?"

"I just got a call from Dr. Cullen. He said that you had a headache and that you weren't feeling well. Bella you need to be careful. Maybe we should go to the hospital and see what's going on. It couldn't hurt."

"Dad! No! I'm not going to any hospitals okay. It was just a headache okay it was a long night end of story. Now I'm going up to bed. You should do the same."

I walked upstairs and fell asleep very quickly. I hadn't realized how tired and sore I was. But my dreams weren't happy and they soon turned into nightmares. They were just like the ones I would have when I was little. I woke up in dripping sweat. It was so hot and stuffy that I couldn't even breathe. My head was pounding so hard I couldn't hear my own thinking. I barely had the energy to get out of my bed and make it in to Charlie's room. When I did my dad shot straight out of bed. "Dad. I don't feel so great."

"Sweetie? What's wrong?" He made it over to me and put his hand on my forehead. "Oh my god! Bella! You're burning up! Here. Come over to the bed." But I couldn't feel my legs anymore and everything got really fuzzy. "BELLA! BELLA!" were the last words I heard before the darkness took me.

**Thanks for all of the review guys. Sorry this chapter took so long but school is starting soon. I should be updating soon.**


	10. Chapter 10: Hospital

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

I woke up to a loud beeping noise. The light was blinding but at least I didn't have a headache anymore. Although, I was all fuzzy and dizzy and I wasn't really sure where I was. My eyes finally opened and my dad was sitting on the side of my bed.

"Dad? What happened?" My dad looked up in shock that I was awake.

"Sweetie. I'm so sorry but I think you know what happened. There are some bad cells forming again." I knew exactly what those words meant. It meant the start of a very slippery slope. Dr. Gerandy and Dr. Cullen would probably start me on a round of chemo here and then after a week they'll send me to a better hospital in Seattle where my immune system will eventually crash. Then the hospital will put me in a room where if someone wants to visit they have to wear special protective clothing.

My bone marrow aspiration wasn't scheduled until a week from Friday but I guess they already did one. "Dad what day is it?"

"It's Sunday morning. You've been out for nearly a day and a half." He sat up and gave me a huge hug. "Dr. Cullen and Dr. Gerandy want to come and talk to you. They want to make sure you understand all the procedures for what's going to happen." Right on cue both doctors walked in with very severe looks. Dr. Gerandy stood at the foot of the bed and examined my chart while Carlisle came over to me to check my vitals.

"Bella," Carlisle greeted me. "There are some bad cells again which are weakening your immune system and that cut on your hand got an infection which is why you passed out. Dr. Gerandy and I are going to start you on a round of antibiotics for the infection."

"Bella I'm sure you know what's going to happen" said Carlisle. "Dr. Gerandy is going to start you on chemo and some radiation and then after a week or so we'll transfer you to Seattle Children's Memorial. We're going to have to put another catheter in and we're also thinking about more aggressive treatment." Carlisle looked very grave as he said this.

This time Dr. Gerandy spoke. "I don't really like to consider aggressive treatments for this type of leukemia because it can usually go into remission with just chemo but you seem to keep relapsing so I have no other choice. I would like to consider a bone marrow transplant. Now I know you don't have any brothers or sisters so I'm going to check both of your parents and if they're not a match then I will put you on a donor list." I could barely listen to what he was saying. All I could think about was what I was going to put Edward through. He didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve this.

Edward had probably been trying to call me. He was probably hanging out with his brothers playing video games or racing their cars. Edward was far happier right now that I was.

I was tuning Dr. Gerandy out at this point. I didn't really care what he was saying. Life was incredibly cruel and unfair. I thought that meeting Edward and feeling the way I do meant that something better was going to come along. I thought it mean that the best was yet to come.

Right now all I felt was tired. Not just tired from the infection but tired from life. I couldn't catch a break. All I really wanted was to float. I wanted to float above the clouds like a bird and not feel.

"What if I don't want to continue with the treatment?" I asked.

My dad, Carlisle, and Dr. Gerandy stopped what they were doing. "Bells, what do you mean you don't want the treatment. You'll die if you don't have it?" My dad looked so sad. He didn't understand.

"Dad, I know I will die but I'm too tired to keep fighting. It just keeps coming back." I took a deep breath and redirected my question at Carlisle. "What other options do I have besides aggressive treatment?"

Dr. Gerandy spoke up. "Um… well there are growth hormone injections. I usually only use them on kids who are in remission but they would keep your good cells growing and they will overpower the bad cells for awhile but that's only a temporary solution. It's only going to hold you over for a few months." My dad finally understood where I was going with this.

"Bella you can't give up. You have to keep fighting. Just a little while longer." He looked on the verge of tears and a complete mental break down.

I took a breath to steady myself and I stared him straight in the eyes. "Dad I'm tired okay. I don't want to keep fighting. I'm tired." Carlisle and Dr. Gerandy looked at each other.

"Bella is only 17 so her medical assessment still lies with you Charlie but she is almost 18. I think you two need to talk about this." Both he and Carlisle walked out of the room. Right as the door closed my dad started bawling.

"I can't lose you. You're so close sweetie. You can't leave me." My dad sobbed. I couldn't help but cry too.

"I'm sorry dad but it's _not_ that close. I'm clearly not responding to treatments anymore. Is this really what my life should be like? Two years of awful treatment that makes me want to kill myself so I can have maybe a year and half of remission before I relapse again. All I'm doing is waiting for something else to come along that's going to kill me. Please understand." My dad looked at my red puffy face and got up and walked down the hall. He probably needed fresh air.

When he left the room I looked outside through the windows. It was a nice day outside; the sun was starting to break through the clouds. I turned my head and looked down at my arm. I was attached to two machines, the heart monitor, and the IV. I decided it was safe to stand up without some needle pulling at me.

My feet slowly draped themselves over the bed as I started to get up. I was still shaky as I grabbed the pole with the IV and slowly made my way to the window. It wasn't too hard to open but I was still weak from the infection. I looked at my hand where there was a bandage wrapped around the scar. I slowly unraveled it to look at the damage. It was bruised with puss drying in certain areas. I wasn't too shocked. I've gotten infections before. They looked no different.

The birds were chirping outside while they fluttered around their nest. I would give anything to be a bird. They had no cares, no worries, and no boundaries. They just flew in the open sky.

Just then the door opened and Carlisle walked in.

"Bella. You shouldn't be out of bed," he warned me.

"I know, but it's just so nice outside I wanted to open the window." I sat in the old chair with my elbow resting on the ledge with my chin on my good hand.

"I get what you're doing," he said. This brought me out of my stupor.

"No you don't," I said. I turned around to look at him. "You don't understand and you never will. Have you ever had to lie in a hospital bed for months while all you can do is throw up in a bucket? Have you ever had people stare at you with that look of pity? No I don't think you can. Why do you think I haven't told Edward?"

"Edward would understand. He's different." Carlisle tried to convince me of this.

"No he wouldn't. The second I tell him everything would be different." I turned back towards the window.

"He's been calling you but of course you haven't been answering. Do you want me to tell him anything?" I slowly got up and walked back to the bed leaving the window open.

"Sure. Tell him I died," I said with sarcasm. I looked up at Carlisle and sure enough he had the pity look.

"Sorry," I clarified. "It's easier to be nice to someone when they aren't looking at me the way you're looking at me."

"How should I look at you?" This was such a doctor response. Doctors never knew how to look at patients. The nurses were the better people. If I ever needed information it was the nurse I asked. Doctors could never explain anything without looking sorry for me.

"Like I'm a human being with feelings. Not to generalize but doctors don't really get it. They don't understand what it's like to be a patient and what it's like to not know what's going on. Nurses on the other hand get it."

"I never thought I would need to take notes from nurses," Carlisle laughed.

"Nurses know a lot of things doctors don't know. Like our first names for one. Tip one: call the patient by their first names. Second: know three things about the patient that they like in hospitals. Three: treat us like we are special. It will get you a lot farther with a patient that being just their doctor." Carlisle moved to sit on my bed.

"I don't really like to become close to my patients in case they were to…"

"Die," I finished for him. "Death is inevitable. I think that if I were to die on the table I would want my doctor to feel something. No just sorrow for the fact that I died but because then I wouldn't die alone. Dying should never be lonely."

"Is that what you want? To not die alone?"

I looked at him dubiously. "Do you want to die alone?" I asked him.

He laughed. "No I wouldn't." His face turned serious again. "But are you really ready to give up?"

"You make it sound so terrible. Like I'm choosing to die, as if I'm suicidal. Have you really looked at my file? Not just the treatments but the time periods of those treatments. I have never not been sick or in and out of hospitals. That is no life."

"I'm sorry if I'm offending you in any way." I could tell I was starting to become rude but it was just because I was tired.

"No I'm sorry I'm being rude. It's just that I make a decision I've given a lot of thought about this and you and Dr. Gerandy start to judge me without knowing me. I hardly think that's fair." Carlisle and I sat there in an uncomfortable silence.

"Are you going to tell Edward?" Carlisle asked breaking the tension.

"I don't know if I could bear telling him." It was the utmost honest answer I could give.

"But you're not going to break up with him." It wasn't a question. "I'm going to say this as his father and not your doctor. Don't string him along because he really cares for you. This will hurt him too." Carlisle was right.

"You should get some rest and think about this a little bit more." Carlisle squeezed my hand gently and walked out of the room. The silence made me even drowsier and soon enough I was asleep again.

By the time I woke up again the good weather had disappeared. There was a light tapping on the door. I looked up and Charlie slowly entered the room with my duffle bag in hand.

"I thought you might want to change into some of your clothes. It will make you more comfortable and I also brought you your cell phone."

I took the cell phone from his hand and flipped it open. It read 4 txt messages and 3 missed calls. I sighed. I would at least have to give him some reason for not returning his phone calls.

"Dad we need to talk." He knew this too. "I don't want to hurt you or mom in any way. I've watched you guys sit by my bedside through every treatment. So I know you know what it's like to go through this."

"I'm just asking you to give the bone marrow transplant a chance. It's not a huge request."

"But it is dad. What happens while I wait for the transplant? I know you and mom aren't matches. I'll tell you what will happen; I will sit here in this room or somewhere like it with skin too raw to touch, hair that falls out, and a skeletal looking face."

"Isn't it worth it?" Charlie asked me.

"I'm sorry but not anymore. Not at this price."

"Okay." I looked up at his face and he was actually going to concede.

"Thank you." I reached up and gave him a hug with tears brimming over my eyes.

My dad, Carlisle, and Dr. Gerandy all agreed to go through with growth hormone treatments. It would keep me going for a little while longer. Dr. Gerandy wasn't happy with my decision at all but he didn't have to be.

So, on Monday afternoon I was discharged from the hospital and Charlie took me home to rest. I begged him to let me go back to school tomorrow and he finally agreed. The tension between the two of us could be cut with a knife. I didn't know how much more of this I could take. At least school was going to be normal. As far as I was concerned nobody at school new, including Edward and it was going to stay that way.

There were only 4 days left of school, one regular day and then three for finals. Then it was summer and it would be just me and Edward. I pulled into the parking lot because Edward probably wasn't sure I was coming to school. He saw me the second I pulled in and walked straight over to me.

"Hi, where have you been? I tried calling but you didn't answer." He looked so hurt that I hadn't called him back.

"Oh…um…I got something flu like and I was too tired to answer my phone so I just turned it off." Hopefully that excuse was good enough. At least I wasn't lying about the sick part. "But I'm all better now, so are you ready to get to class." I grabbed his hand and started to walk towards the building but he stopped and I turned to look back at him.

"You could have told me you know, I would have understood." I reached up and hugged him with as much force as I could muster. I was still really weak after this weekend.

"Thank you for understanding." He smiled but when I said those words I was imagining that I was responding to my telling him the truth. For now, all I was going to do was pretend that everything is normal.

"So how was your weekend? Did you and Emmett hang out?" I looked up at him and he was laughing.

"Oh we had a good time alright."

"What happened?"

"Well Emmett decided that he, Jasper, and I should go out but we didn't know where. We were supposed to go with our dad to this restaurant but my dad had to go the hospital last minutes. So anyway, Emmett takes us to a bar with fake IDs and as we were there Emmett started to hit on one of the waitresses. Well it turns out that the waitress has a boyfriend, big beefy guy, who was sitting right next to us. He totally knocked out Emmett." By this point Edward was trying to breathe properly he was laughing so hard.

"Is he okay?" I wasn't exactly finding the humor in the story unless he was okay.

"He's fine. He's got a shiner thought but he's fine. We had to explain to Esme why he looked all beat up though."

"Did you tell her the truth?"

"Of course not. We told her he hit his head when he was working on his car."

"Well at least your weekend wasn't a wash." Edward wrapped his arm around my waist.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, "It would have been better if I'd been with you." This conversation was getting uncomfortable.

"We better get to our classes or else we'll be late. I'll see you later." I reached up to give him a quick kiss and turned away but Edward caught my arm before I could leave.

"Bella? What's going on? Talk to me." I didn't want to look into his eyes but I made the mistake.

"It was just a weird weekend. Charlie and I got in a fight and I don't want to talk about it."

"You two got in a fight while you were sick?" Edward looked confused.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it. I'm sorry I'm being mean. I'm just tired. Can we just go to class?" Edward dropped the subject and walked me to class.

"I'll see you at lunch." He stalked down the hall to his next class. I didn't want to hurt him. That was the last thing I wanted but this wasn't fair to him. If I could just forget about this weekend then maybe I could go back to normal.

**Thank you for all of the Reviews! I hope you guys like the chapter. I'm trying to get more chapters in before school starts on Monday but hopefully I won't be too slowed down. **

**I hope all of you will keep reading once school starts. Please Review. Thanks.**


	11. Chapter 11: Getting Worse

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

The next few weeks were very tense between me and Charlie. It was hard to be in the same room with each other so I began to spend most of my time at Edward's house. It was like having a second family. Edward would play the piano for me. I never knew he could play but when Esme mentioned he did, I wouldn't let him go a day without playing for me.

The school year was over and now it was perfect. I would wake up and drive over to Edward's house where we would take walks in the forest and then we would spend the afternoons with the rest of his family. Carlisle did a great job of covering up what was going on. He never mentioned anything to Edward or the rest of the family and for that I was eternally grateful.

Edward and I were lying in our meadow asking each other really random questions. "If you could be any of kind of animal what would you be?" Edward asked.

I knew the answer right away because I used to think about it when I was stuck in hospital beds. "I would be a bird so I could fly away. And I would have to worry about anything and I could be free." I had a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. "What would you be?"

"I would be a bird so I could be with you." He said it like I'd asked a stupid question and that I should have known the answer. I reached over and kissed him. He was absolutely perfect. "And we could fly to some remote place so it could be just us and nobody would interrupt."

"That would be nice. To get away," I clarified.

"Are you okay? You have seemed kind of tense lately." Edward had of course noticed that I was acting strange but he never wanted to ask.

"I know and I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. You can be upset for whatever reason you want but I just thought that maybe you would want to talk to me about it." He looked at me with those deep green eyes.

I sighed while I dropped my eyes to the ground. "Do you ever get scared?"

"That depends on what I'm scared of." He didn't understand what I was getting at.

"I've never felt this way about someone before. It's just so strong and I don't know what I would do without you." I looked up to meet his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere." We both sat up while he cradled my head against the crook of his neck.

"I know that but what if I were to go somewhere? What if I had to go?"

"Bella? Are you leaving? Are you going back to Phoenix?" He looked so upset about this. He just didn't get it but I knew he wouldn't.

"No I'm not going anywhere. I was just wondering if you felt scared if for some reason we couldn't be together anymore." I pulled back a little so I could look into his eyes.

"I don't know what I would do but I haven't given it much thought. I've never felt this way about anyone else either. What brought all of this on?" He looked really serious when he asked me.

"It was a dream I had last night. I got into a car accident and I didn't make it. I was just curious about how you felt." Edward looked disturbed by my dream.

"Bella you're not going anywhere and neither am I. It was just a dream."

I decided that lying was my best option at this point. "I know. It was just a dream," I clarified.

Edward and I spent the rest of the time watching the birds circle the meadow and get water from the stream. I laid on my side with my head on his chest while his arms wrapped themselves around me. We didn't stir for what seemed like hours until our stomachs started to growl.

"I guess it's time for lunch." He got up and stuck his hand out for me. When I stood up I thought my knees were going to give out. I'd been getting so much weaker but I didn't want to give it away so I disguised my weakness.

"Bet you 5 bucks you couldn't give me a piggy back ride all the way home." He laughed and then turned around and scooped me up on his back. I teased him the whole way home. I began to kiss along his shoulders and then onto his exposed neck. When I got to the spot behind his earlobe I began to suck a little bit on the skin. By this time we were back at the house.

"You really shouldn't do that you know." He had a devious smile.

"Why?" When I asked he dove at me and knocked me into the couch while ticking and kissing along me neck. "Edward stop. Stop." But I couldn't stop laughing long enough to form a sentence.

"Uh hum." Edward stopped and we both looked up to find Carlisle staring at the two of us.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"Just don't let Esme catch you." He said as he walked into the kitchen. I felt absolutely horrible. Here I was slowing getting sicker and sicker while I was leading Edward on. God! What did Carlisle think of me? He probably thought I was some kind of tease.

"Bella, don't be so embarrassed. My dad doesn't really care. Shall we go get something to eat?" I got off the couch with Edward and walked into the kitchen. I'm sure Carlisle cared a lot about what I was doing.

Edward and I went into the kitchen and Carlisle was there fixing himself a sandwich. "Would you two like to join me? I can make some more sandwiches."

"Sure. Let me go see if anybody else wants one too." Edward left me in the kitchen all alone with Carlisle.

"You need to tell him you know. It's not fair to him. He's fallen so hard for you. I don't want to see him get his heart broken." He looked like such a parent when he said that and not a doctor. Trust me when I say I can tell the difference.

"You must think I'm being selfish." He looked at me with an expression only a parent gives a child when the child isn't being honest.

"I know I'm being selfish. I just don't want to ruin what we have. Do you remember what I said about not wanting to die alone?" Carlisle furrowed his eyebrows as he remembered.

"Well I don't want to be alone. Dying isn't just the final few seconds or minutes. It's a process and no one wants to go through it alone." I looked down at the table not sure of why I just told Edward's dad all of this.

"You don't have to do this alone. Telling him doesn't make you alone." I couldn't believe what he said.

Edward came downstairs with all of his siblings on his tail.

"Good thing I made a lot of sandwiches." Carlisle put the platter of sandwiches in the middle of the table and then left all the kids alone while Edward and I got plates for everybody.

"After lunch, who's up for a game of football outside?" Emmett asked. Everyone seemed to be excited. I was really tired but I didn't want to sit out. I've never been able to play a sport before.

"Bella? You game?" Emmett asked me.

I looked up at his eager eyes with his dimples showing on both sides. "I'm game." How could I deny him this opportunity to deplore how weak and uncoordinated I was?

We all split up into teams. It was me, Edward, and Alice on one team and the other was Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper. Football was so much fun and I wasn't half bad when I watched where I was running. During the next play Emmett threw the ball in the wrong direction and I ended up catching it.

"RUN BELLA!" I turned and ran in the direction of our goal when I came crashing to the ground. It felt like there was a monster truck pinning me to the ground but I realized it was just Emmett.

"EMMETT get off of her! Bella are you okay?" Edward's voice was right behind me filled with panic. I turned around with a huge grin on my face.

"That was awesome!" No one has ever been that rough with me before and it felt so amazing to be like a normal person.

"Sweetheart you have a cut on your head and you're bleeding." Edward was kneeling by my side keeping me from moving.

"What?" I reached up and sure enough there was a big cut on my head that hurt really badly.

"Come on let's get you to Carlisle." Carlisle?! Oh no. This was not going to be good. Edward led me into the house. "Carlisle?!" He led me up into Carlisle's office and knocked on the door. Carlisle answered the door.

"Oh my gosh! Bella? What happened?" He led me into the seat opposite his desk and shined a bright light onto my head. He took a good look at it and then sighed.

Edward explained what happened because I knew I was going to be in too much trouble to even respond. "We were playing football outside and Emmett tackled her. That's when she got this cut."

"You were playing football?!" He sounded just like my father and I wanted to start crying.

"Dad calm down. It was an accident. Does she need stitches?"

"Yes, she does. Edward go downstairs and grab me my bag." Edward kissed the top of my head and then walked out of the room.

"You were playing football? What the hell were you thinking Bella? Do you have any idea what you've done? Not only do you need stitches but your immune system is breaking down as we speak. You could get a very bad infection that will only speed up the process. Is that what you want?" I couldn't even speak. Tears were falling over the brims of my eyes.

"I just wanted to know what it was like to play a sport" I whispered. Edward walked back into the room and saw that I was crying.

"Bella? Are you in pain? Carlisle isn't there anything you can give her?" Edward knelt down beside me and took my hand in his. I looked into his eyes and that's when I saw it. I saw the love he had for me in his eyes and I thought I was going to start crying even more.

"Don't worry I'm almost done. Take two Tylenol for the pain and put this cream on to prevent infection and bacteria on the cut." I took the cream from him and walked out of his office.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Edward I'm fine. I just want to go home. Can you drive me?"

"Sure. Go wait by the car I have to go find my keys." I walked outside and waited by his car while the rest of his family was still outside hanging around.

"Bella. Are you okay? Did you get stitches?" Rosalie asked.

"Yeah, just five though." Emmett was walking over to me with a huge grin on his face.

"That's nothing. Jasper and I got into a fight once and he broke my left arm. My dad flipped out."

"That was a sick catch though," Jasper said. "Have you ever played football before?"

"No, never. I've never played a sport before. I've always been more of an indoor person."

"Bella are you ready to go?" Edward was walking down the sidewalk towards his car.

"Bye guys. I'll see you around."

The drive home was quiet. Edward was still beating himself up for what happened.

"I'm sorry about what happened. I should have been watching out for you better." He kept reproving himself for my fall. He thought that's why I was upset but he was no where close.

"Playing football with your family was one of the most fun things I've ever done. So stop beating yourself up."

Edward had finally pulled up into my driveway. "I'll drive to your house tomorrow. I've got some errands in the morning tomorrow and then I'll be over." I meant to give him a quick peck goodbye but he wanted more. His lips locked on mine and when he finally let me go I was light headed.

I opened the door and began to walk upstairs hoping my dad wouldn't see me but it was too late. "Bells? You're home early. I was thinking about ordering pizza and letting you have the night off…" his sentence began to trail when he noticed the huge cut on my head. "Oh my god Bella! What happened?" He was in no mood to be calmed.

"I was playing football with Edward's family and I fell and hit my head. It's really no big deal. Dr. Cullen took a look at me and stitched me up. He gave me antibacterial cream for it and said he would see me at the hospital tomorrow to give me some shots so the cut doesn't become infected." All I could do was look at the floor as I said this.

"You were playing football?!" He sounded the same as Carlisle. "Do you realize how dangerous that was? I know I'm letting you refuse treatment but you need to take care of what's left of you! How could you be so stupid?!"

I started to cry. No, not just cry. I was sobbing unbelievably. I couldn't stop. Charlie stopped yelling and started apologizing. He hugged me and kept apologizing. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Forgive me?" I just nodded.

I eventually cried myself to sleep. I woke up and was really groggy. I had no emotion. It was like I lacked life. I realized I was killing everyone around me. My dad was losing it, Carlisle was losing it, and when I told Edward he was going to lose it too.

**Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I should be updating soon. I really appreciate all of the reviews guys. They really help keeping me motivated to write more. Thank you so much!**


	12. Chapter 12: The Truth

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Sorry it took me so long to update. Let me know how it is.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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After my treatment at the hospital I went over to Edward's house. I needed to do this. I couldn't keep lying to him. I walked up the steps to the porch and my legs seemed to get heavier and heavier with every step I took. Before I could even knock Esme opened the door.

"Oh Bella. I was just stepping out for some errands. Edward is in the living room with the family." She smiled and held the door open for me. She was so sweet and loving and I was about to break her son's heart. I just smiled and walked by.

I walked in the house and there was Edward and the rest of his family excluding Carlisle sitting in front of the television watching some movie I didn't recognize. I smiled when Edward saw me. I could never get over how gorgeous he was. Every time he looked at me I forgot all about what I was going to say.

"Hi," I said as I moved to sit by him on the couch.

"Hi," he said as he smiled before giving me a kiss. I moved so that my legs were draped across his lap with my side up against his chest.

"So Bella, no more football?" Emmett laughed while remembering what happened last time.

"No Emmett, I don't think I'll be playing any time soon." Edward moved his hand across my hair so he could look at the damage.

"It's looking a lot better. Are you in any pain? I can get you some Tylenol." Edward and his worrying. He really needs to find a new hobby.

"I'm fine Edward. What movie are we watching?"

"The Dark Knight," Jasper replied.

"I like how they switched girls. I didn't like the girl from the first movie. Which one do you like better?" Alice asked me.

"I wouldn't know I've never seen it."

"You've never seen it!" exclaimed Emmett. Everyone's eyes were on me. "Didn't they have theaters in Phoenix?"

"Yeah but I never really had time to go to the movies." I snuggled against Edward trying to warm up. The house felt extremely cold to me.

"Are you cold?"

"Just a little." He reached behind him and grabbed the throw blanket and draped it over the two of us.

The movie was good but my eyes started to droop when it lost my attention. The sound of Edward's heart beat was like my own lullaby which put me right to sleep.

"Bella? Are you awake?" Edward's sweet voice rang in my ears. I slowly readjusted myself and I realized I was no longer on the couch but on his bed instead.

My eyes slowly opened and the sun was no longer on the East but on the West horizon instead.

"How long have I been asleep?" I looked over at the clock and it read almost 2 o'clock.

"Almost 3 hours. You looked like you were having a bad dream. I wanted to make sure you were okay?"

Bad dreams weren't uncommon with me and they were getting worse as the days went on. I didn't even notice I was having one.

"I'm fine now. Did I say anything?" Oh no. What if I said something?

I slowly peeked up at him from under my eyelashes.

"Not really. You kept saying 'can't tell him' over and over. Do you want to explain?"

A big lump in my throat formed. I couldn't seem to find my voice but I knew I needed to get this over with.

"Edward." My voice was barely above a whisper. "I can't see you anymore."

"Bella? What are you talking about?" His eyes pulled together and a line formed above his brow.

If I didn't end this now it was going to be too late. "I'm sick Edward and I can't be with you anymore." I was gasping for air at this point. The thick tears were brimming over my eyes.

"What do you mean you're sick?" I wasn't looking at him but I had a good feeling as to what his expression looked like.

"I have cancer. I was in remission when I moved here but I relapsed awhile ago. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you but I didn't want things to end." I started to get up off his bed and head for the door.

"Bella wait! Don't go! I love you!"

It was the first time he said he loved me. My breathing turned into hyperventilating at this point. I needed to get out of here as fast as possible.

"No Edward! I can't do this." I ran down the stairs and threw the front door open letting it bang against the wall. The air was cold and it cut against my skin where the tears had fallen.

Carlisle's car pulled up in the driveway. He stepped outside and knew exactly what happened when he saw me crying and Edward frozen on the steps.

"I hope you're happy!" I yelled at him. I ran over to my car careful not to trip. Thank goodness I'd driven myself today.

"Bella please don't do this," Carlisle said. I climbed in my truck and roared the engine. I wasn't in any shape to drive but I needed to get out of here. I never looked back at the house as I took off down the winding road.

I eventually had to pull over. My heart felt like it was literally breaking. My head fell against the steering wheel before my body slumped itself over the passenger's seat. My sobs filled my head until I got a headache. I didn't think I was going to be able to stop crying but I knew I needed to get home. It was starting to get dark outside and Charlie would start to worry.

I restarted my truck and began to drive home. When I pulled in the driveway Charlie had the lights on and was waiting at the front window.

"Bella get in this house!" Charlie was clearly upset. I trudged up to the front steps but he couldn't see my face yet it was so dark.

"Bella? What happened to you? I was expecting you hours ago."

"I broke up with Edward." Charlie became uncomfortable as he saw my red, swollen face. "I told him."

"How did he take it?" Charlie didn't really want to have to ask but he was too curious.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm just going to go to bed." He let me pass by him and ran up the stairs. As soon as I got to my room the tears started to pour again. I felt empty and cold. My body craved Edward's arms around me and the smell of his skin.

I needed to be brave. I needed to do this for him. He shouldn't have to live with this problem like I do. I love him too much.

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EPOV

I stood there stunned. I couldn't even process what she just said. My arms fell limp at my side as she ran out the door. Just as she was about to get into her truck Carlisle pulled up. "I hope you're happy!" she screamed at Carlisle. She took off and Carlisle came into the house looking wary of me.

"You knew?! You knew this whole time and never told me?!"

"I couldn't tell you. I am bound by law."

"I don't care about the law you should have told me!"

I was so angry I thought I could have ripped the whole house apart and still have anger left to spare. I took my keys and went out for a drive. I needed to clear my head.

The roads weren't long enough. Even the darkness of the highway seemed too short. Every time I tried to clear my head Bella's face showed up behind my eyelids almost haunting me in a way. It was always her smile, her laugh, the way her forehead scrunched up when she cried.

It was almost midnight. I needed to get back home but I couldn't be there. Why didn't Carlisle tell me? Why didn't she tell me? Why do I think that if I'd known I would have been able to stop this?

When I finally came back to the house my whole family was scared of me. I'm sure they knew by now. I just went up to my room and laid there listening to music. There was a knock on my door. The door opened and whoever it was decided to just let themselves in. It was Carlisle. He stood there for awhile before I could ask anything.

"What kind does she have?"

"Acute lymphocytic leukemia" he responded.

"How bad is it?"

"She's relapsed 4 times in 12 years. She's stopped wanting treatments." He hesitated before he spoke again. "It's pretty bad." There was nothing more he could say.

"I told her I love her and she tells me she has cancer. Who does that? How could she just do that?" My anger was coming back.

"You're taking your anger out at the wrong person. Because the person you're mad at isn't in this room and it isn't Bella either. She did nothing wrong. She was trying to protect you."

"Is she going to die?" My voice cracked on the last word. He didn't even bother telling me because I already knew. My heart was breaking and tears were coming faster with every piece that chipped off. My dad came over and hugged me. She was going to die and there was nothing I could do. I couldn't lose her. I won't lose her. I refuse to lose her.

She wasn't at school the next day or the day after or the day after that. It was lonely there. No one besides me and my siblings knew why. People would ask if she was sick and that's why she wasn't here. I just told them that she had a cold.

I didn't know if she would be coming back to school or not but I knew I couldn't go on like this. I needed to see and talk to her.

Rosalie drove her car to school today so I was free to go to Bella's house immediately. I stopped by the flower shop on the way to get something for her. She deserved more but I didn't want to overwhelm her.

Chief Swan's cruiser was pulled up in the driveway right next to Bella's truck. I walked up to the door with the flowers in my hand and knocked. I could hear footsteps inside but no one answered.

"Bella please open up. I know you're there." I knocked again and the door opened but it wasn't Bella it was her dad.

"Chief Swan," I greeted him. "How is Bella doing?" I tried to see in between him and the door but she wasn't standing there.

"Edward, I think you should go home." He looked so sorrowful. Bella probably wasn't doing well.

"I need to talk to Bella sir. I'm not leaving here until I do." I tried to look stern but both of our faces fell into a scared almost depressed kind of way.

"She's too weak to talk to anybody right now." He looked down at the flowers I was holding in my hand.

"It's only for a second. I just want to tell her something."

"She doesn't want to talk to you but I'll pass on the message."

I handed the flowers over to him to give to her. "Just tell her that I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll do that." Charlie hesitated before he spoke again. "You should go now." I walked slowly back to my car. Before I got in the driver's seat I looked up at her window and I barely caught a glimpse of her staring back at me before she let the curtain fall back.

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BPOV

I watched as Edward left in his Volvo. I thought that when I told him he would stop coming around here but he was very persistent. He told me he loved me but he didn't know what the word meant, what love really is.

There was a knock on my bedroom door. I walked over to my bed and laid smack dab in the middle.

"Come in." Charlie slowly entered the room holding a bouquet of flowers. They were pink day lilies, my favorite. I slowly reached for them and Charlie handed them over.

I stuck my nose in the middle of the thickest part and took a big whiff. They smelled even better than I remember.

"Bella maybe you should talk to him." I looked down at the bed.

"I can't. It's not the same anymore."

"I may not know a lot about how you told him but if he's still coming around with flowers then he deserves a little more respect."

"He'll stop coming around. Just give it a day or two." Charlie looked dubious.

Charlie seemed to be hiding something from me. I could always tell because I was never one to keep a secret.

"What is it dad?" He looked at the floor when he spoke.

"Your mom called today." My eyes almost flew out of their sockets.

"What did you tell her?" Charlie sighed.

"Relax. I told her you were doing fine." A huge breath flew out of my lungs. If Renee ever found out she would be on a plane within a half an hour. "I can't keep lying to her Bella. She's going to figure it out sooner or later."

"I'd rather later." Charlie put on his stern face.

"Right now you're acting very immature Bella. You're ignoring someone who cares deeply about you and you're refusing to tell your mother you're dying!"

"Get out!" I stood up and pushed him out of the room. I slammed the door in his face and pressed my back up against it. My legs began to feel like jell-o as I slid down to the floor. I began to cry again.

Charlie was right. I was being immature but I felt by being immature I was protecting them both. They shouldn't have to go through this. It wasn't their fault.

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Sorry it took me so long to update but school started last week so it's been kind of crazy. I'll try to update at least once if not twice a week. Also, I hope to hit 55 reviews by next weekend! Hope you guys enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13: Realization

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hope you guys enjoy. Also, take a look at the question I posted at the bottom. Thanks.**

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There was nothing on TV today. Daytime television is highly overrated but I've gotten very attached to 'All My Children.' Needless to say, I was bored and avoiding school or avoiding Edward. Charlie didn't really care. He worked in the morning, come home to check on me for lunch, and then keep working till dinner.

I kept the TV while I roamed around the house. It was comforting to have the sound in the background to keep me distracted. I if I found myself bored I found the want to call Edward or at least pick up the phone when he called to listen to his voice.

It was an especially cloudy day out and it was making me even drowsier. Maybe taking a nap would help. I went up into the bathroom to comb through my now very tangled hair. I turned to look in the mirror and saw someone else than me looking back.

This girl was paler than me, she was definitely skinnier, and had swollen, red eyes. I looked awful to say the least. I took the comb to brush whatever was left of my dull, thin, bushy hair. It wasn't much of an improvement when I finished but I looked slightly more presentable.

The clock read almost 5 o'clock when I entered my room. Charlie should be getting home soon. I was feeling bored again and I had my phone in my hand. This wasn't good. It's too tempting.

Just then a loud honking noise came from outside my window. I got off my bed to look outside and not only was Charlie's cruiser pulled in the driveway but another truck I didn't recognize as well.

I walked down the stairs putting on my sweatshirt when I got to the front door before stepping outside. The air was getting warmer outside, it was almost muggy the air was so thick.

I looked out and saw Billy, Charlie's old friend.

"Bella!" Billy wheeled himself over to me and held out his hand for me to shake. "It's good to see you so…well; it's good to see you." Clearly the attention I gave to my hair was worthless. "You remember Jacob?"

His son who was huge now was standing by the truck. He looked so much bigger than the last time I saw him. Somehow, I felt jealous. Here Jacob was huge and muscular while I stood skinny and pathetic looking.

"I remember." I looked to Charlie to find out why they were here.

"Billy brought Harry Clearwater's homemade fish fry. There's also a game on tonight. You don't mind hanging out with Jacob for awhile?" I slowly shook my head side to side while pulling my sweatshirt tighter around my torso. The air was warm but I no longer had any body heat.

"Well, let's get inside this weather is absolutely disgusting." Amen to that. Charlie helped Billy inside while Jacob and I lagged behind.

"So how's school going?" Jacob asked me.

"Um…it's okay. I haven't been feeling well lately so I've been out for a couple of days." I saw him suddenly shift away from me. He misunderstood. "No, it's nothing contagious. Trust me."

"Oh," was all he said.

"How's school for you? You're almost a junior?"

"Yeah, Billy was really excited when I got my license. Schools okay. I mean_ it's_ school." We both laughed.

I couldn't believe he was only a junior. He looked almost 20 to me. Maybe I was just really tiny.

"Are you going to watch the game tonight?" I asked him.

"Probably not. We don't really play or get into a lot of sports on the Reservation. Are you?"

"I don't watch a lot of TV," I admitted.

"So what do you do for fun?" We both walked into the kitchen and took seats at the mismatched kitchen table.

"I read a lot or I hang out with…" I trailed off. I didn't mean to say that. "friends," I finished lamely.

"By friends do you mean Edward Cullen?" Jacob laughed at my shocked expression.

"How do you know about that?" Jacob kept laughed.

"You know the reservation is as small as Forks. Word travels."

"How much have you heard?"

"Not much really. I didn't even know you were back in town when I heard the news. I didn't think too much of it."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"So where is he now? Wouldn't he be here helping you if you were sick?" Jacob was awfully nosy for someone I haven't seen in awhile.

"He's with his family tonight," I answered.

"I was asking because I wanted to be the one to tell him that we are engaged."

"What are you talking about?" I had no idea where this was coming from.

"You don't remember? We were five when I asked at the La Push beach if you would marry me and you accepted." Now my memory was jogging.

"That's right! Your sister, Rachel, was going to be our witness." We both laughed at the memory.

He began to speak again. "You said that you wanted to marry me so no one else could have me."

"I guess I had a crush on you back then. Don't worry, I'm over it." We both smiled at each other thinking of the good old days.

"We used to have a lot of fun together but then you moved back to Phoenix. I didn't see much of you after that." Jacob knew that I had cancer. It was no secret but rather a very large elephant in the room.

"I'm here now," I added. Charlie and Billy came into the kitchen before Jacob or I could say anything else.

"Here's some fish fry for you two. We'll be in the other room if you need us." They put a huge plate of fish in the middle of the kitchen table while taking a few pieces for themselves to eat in the other room.

"You can pick first." Jacob shoved the food in front of me but the sight of it made me sick.

"No thanks, I'm not that hungry," I explained. Jacob shrugged and took more for him.

"Is that one of the side effects? Loss of appetite?" Of course Charlie would have told Billy who would have then told Jacob.

"No, not really. I just haven't felt like eating lately." Jacob waited for more of an explanation.

I decided I should tell him. "Edward's not here because I don't want him here. I told him that it's back or that I have it and walked out. I haven't seen him since."

He looked confused. "Why don't you want him here? Aren't you lonely?"

"Yes I am lonely but at least I'm the only one that suffers." A big lump formed in my throat. "I love him too much to let him go through this too."

"He would understand. You haven't even given him a chance yet?"

"I thought you wanted him to stay away?"

"You look really sad," he admitted. It was true. I could barely stand to look in a mirror because it only made my sadness worse.

"The doctors give me about three months." This made him look very uncomfortable. It always did with people.

"That's why I don't tell him. The shift in body language you just made is why I don't. It makes people uncomfortable to be with me knowing I won't be here in days, weeks, months."

"But I apparently don't love you as much as he does. So is that why you haven't been going to school? You're avoiding him?"

"Partly," I admitted. "I am sick though and I haven't been feeling well."

"I think you should let him help you. He deserves better."

"What do you mean by that?" I thought keeping a distance was what he deserved. He shouldn't go through this.

"How is it fair to him to love you so much and not get to say goodbye. It's like you're saying the next time he'll see you is when you're in your casket." The word choice stung a little bit.

"I never really thought of it that way. I guess falling for him wasn't what he deserved."

Jacob and I spent the rest of the night on the couch not paying any attention to the game. I didn't feel like talking to Jacob anymore. I'd rather just sit and stare at the TV while not paying attention to it or my thoughts. Maybe I should call Edward.

"Well, I'll see you later Charlie, Bella." I guess the game was over. I hadn't even noticed. I stood up to hug Billy good bye and waved to Jacob.

"I'll see you guys later too." It was probably a lie. It made me incredibly sad. I trudged up to my room and closed the door. I never really got to know Billy and Jacob and here I was probably seeing them for the last time. _There wasn't enough time. There wasn't enough time!_

My heart started pounding in my ears. I could no longer hear any words other than those ringing in my head. My breathing increased as I started to hyperventilate. So this is what a panic attack feels like. My head was spinning and the walls felt as if they were squeezing all reason out of my head making tears fall down my face.

I needed Edward and it was killing me. I couldn't do this without him. I was going to go to school tomorrow. Even while I look like hell I'm going to go.

I ran into the bathroom exhausted but exited and took a very quick shower. It helped with the hair but not really with the skin. I'd have to work on that. I grabbed my pajamas from my drawer and got into bed. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to sleep. I had this knot in my stomach that wouldn't go away.

I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come but if felt like it never did. I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up in the middle of the night feeling awful. My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my mouth.

I sat up in bed and turned on the light only to see myself vomit my own blood all over me. The noise obviously woke Charlie when he came barging in my room with shock written all over his face.

"Bella just breathe. The ambulance is on its way." He picked up my own trash can for me to vomit more blood into. It tasted awful and I felt very weak, even weaker than just regular vomit. I felt like my body was completely drained of all energy left to spare. Charlie ran down the hall to grab the phone to call for an ambulance.

Charlie stood over me trying to get me to calm down but the hysterics kept coming. There was only once before in my life when this has happened and the cancer was bad. Charlie smoothed my hair back until the ambulance arrived. I was very disoriented. I couldn't really tell where up and down were. The sweat just kept pouring out of me which probably meant I had a fever. Charlie had to carry me down the stairs when the ambulance arrived ten minutes later.

Three EMTs got out and started asking Charlie questions. I didn't really care what happened to me but right now all I felt was need for Edward. It wasn't even want it was absolute need to the point of pain. I wanted to feel his arms around me telling me that I was going to be alright. I just felt completely alone.

"How long has she been vomiting?" one of them asked. The other two were getting me onto a stretcher while putting a mask on my face to help me breathe.

"About 12 minutes," replied Charlie. His voice was painted with fear and shock. "She has leukemia. Advanced and it hasn't been going well." Both EMTs pushed my stretcher up into the back of the ambulance while I watched the entire neighborhood crowd around our driveway. I didn't really care about them watching. I just wanted this feeling to go away. Charlie sat next to me while holding my hand.

"It's going to be okay sweetie. Dr. Gerandy and Dr. Cullen know we're on our way and they're getting ready for us. It's going to be alright." It sounded like Charlie was trying to convince himself more than me. I didn't have the energy to respond. I just tried to keep myself conscious.

Sweat was pouring down my face while the guy nearest to me read my temperature and took my pulse. Apparently from the look on his face they weren't good. I vaguely remember being hooked up to an IV before passing out.

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EPOV

I lied in bed for what seemed like hours just thinking of Bella. She must be so scared and there's nothing I can do. I wish she would just let me in. She couldn't be sick though. She was perfect. Every strand of hair on her head was perfect and in its proper place. How dare someone tell her that she wasn't absolutely perfect?

How come it had to be my Bella? Why did she have to be the one who is sick? This wasn't fair. I really needed to see her. When I would go to her house tomorrow I'll demand to see her and won't leave.

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The next day I waited impatiently for school to end. Rosalie drove her car and everyone else in it to school so I would be free to go over to Bella's house. My resolve was strong. Charlie wasn't going to keep me from seeing her today.

I pulled up in the driveway and Charlie's cruiser was gone. This was out of the ordinary for Charlie to not be home at this hour. Maybe it was a good sign. I ran up to the doorstep and knocked on the door but there was no response. I knocked again but there wasn't even the sound of a mouse on the ground.

"Bella please open up!"

I knocked three more times before walking backwards to get a better view of her bedroom window. There was no movement.

"I just wanted to say…" I trailed off as one of the neighbors came outside. I didn't need to look like an idiot to the entire neighborhood.

"Hi," I said.

"They're not home," she replied, "so you can stop shouting."

"What?" Why would they not be home?

"Ambulance came last night and took her. She didn't look so good. I'm not really sure what was wrong, Charlie wouldn't tell me and no one could get a good ear shot."

Her words slowly registered in my brain. Bella was at the hospital probably feeling all alone. What if she died? I couldn't let the last moment we had together to be of an argument.

I raced back to my car and slammed down on the accelerator as far as it would go. Why didn't Carlisle tell me? I just needed to make sure she was alright. Traffic was unbelievably slow but finally I made it.

I walked through the emergency doors and up to the second floor where my Carlisle's office was. Somehow the route just seemed to take so much longer as I ignored faces and object and concentrated on my destination instead.

Carlisle was at the nurse's station checking a file.

"Edward," he said. He knew exactly why I was here.

"Where is she? How is she doing? Is she going to be okay?" So many questions were racing through my head it was hard to get them all out.

"Edward calm down." Carlisle put his hands on my shoulders to help me relax but it wasn't really helping.

"Just tell me is she here?" I demanded.

"She got here late last night and was in the ICU until this afternoon. She's in the cancer ward but Edward," he warned, "she's not up to many visitors. Keep it simple."

I ran down the hall making a left at the vending machine until I made it into the cancer center. There was no one at the nurse's station so I took it upon myself to find Bella's room number behind the desk. Room 201 it read.

I looked around till I found the direction I wanted. I slowly made my way to the door and turned the handle.

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Hope you guys liked the chapter. It's been rough trying to get this chapter finished but here it is. Thanks for the reviews.

**P.S. Is there anything else you would like to see done better in my writing. i.e. more dialogue, too much dialogue, more description etc.? Please let me know.**


	14. Chapter 14: I Love You Too

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Hope you guys enjoy!**

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EPOV

The door opened slowly and I saw Charlie sitting in a very uncomfortable looking chair next to Bella. The room was extremely bright and smelled kind of funny.

Then I noticed Bella. She was so tiny and frail looking. It had only been about five days since I'd seen her last and her skin looked ashen, too pale for her. She also looked as if she had lost a lot of weight. Carlisle wasn't lying when he said it was bad.

I involuntarily took a step forward and Charlie noticed me standing in the doorway.

"Come on in Edward." He slowly stood up and stretched with his arms and back. I couldn't find words. There was nothing I could say to him at this point to make him or I feel any better.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked. That was good place to start.

"Her immune system is depleting since her white cell count is low and she got an infection in her stomach." My eyes bugged out of their sockets. How was that even possible?

"She woke up and started vomiting blood, about a liter so she had a few transfusions. She's also getting antibiotics for the infection."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"I'm going to go get food. I leave you in charge." He paced past me and walked out of the room closing the door quietly behind him.

I walked over to the chair and grabbed her hand in mine. Her skin which was normally a shade or two lighter than mine was now like holding up paper next to my skin. Her eyes looked dark with big circles around them.

All I want is for her to be okay. I slowly put my hand on her forehead brushing the hair out of her face. Her forehead was clammy against my palm leaving a residue for me to wipe off.

"I'm so sorry Bella." I put my head against her side and sat that way for what seemed like hours. I sat there waiting for her to move, just to flinch to let me know that she was there. But there was no movement and as far as I was concerned it didn't seem like there was ever going to be.

A while later I sat up adjusting my back from the awful chair and noticed it was getting very dark out. Charlie hadn't returned. I guessed that he couldn't be here right now. This was no sight for the faint hearted.

Just then the door opened and Carlisle walked in. We both stared between each other and Bella waiting for the other person to speak first.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked.

"She's really weak right now." I looked at him waiting for a real answer. He sighed giving in. "I'm not supposed to give out this information but her body is very weak right now and unless she goes through aggressive treatment it won't be that much longer." I stared back at Bella wondering what it would be like if her bed was empty.

"Why doesn't she get treatment?" I couldn't understand what was going through her mind.

"She's gone through many treatments Edward. I don't think that she's had much of a life."

"I always knew there was something she wasn't telling me but I never wanted to push it. I thought that she would tell me when she was ready. But what if she had never told me, if I had never found out until her obituary appeared in the paper?

"If it makes you feel any better she felt terrible about not telling you. She didn't like keeping secrets from you." I just kept looking at her face trying to figure out what was going through her mind.

"Is she going to wake up?" I wondered how long she could sleep for.

"Like I said she's very weak and she's going to need some time to recover. She'll probably wake up in a day or two."

"How much time does she have left if she doesn't get treatment?"

"At this rate, not even a month." My heart sank. Only a month until this bed was empty waiting for someone else to take her place. Tears started to form in my eyes but I tried to hide them.

"Does everyone know?" Carlisle knew I meant the family.

"They know. Alice wants to come visit but Bella is under a _no visitors_ policy right now."

"I'm not leaving," I said with a firm voice.

"I know. Charlie doesn't mind you being here. I just talked to him and he said that he doesn't want to leave her alone while he takes care of some things."

"It's my fault. I kept her out too late; I made her do too much…"

"Edward, stop." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder to soothe me. "This is in no way your fault. She has been sick for a very long time. If anything she was lucky to have you in her life."

"How long has she known?"

"Just after you two started dating."

"She knew all this time and never told me. How did she keep it a secret for that long?" I was talking to myself more than Carlisle at this point.

Then it hit me. Why Carlisle had been acting so funny around her. "That's why you got upset that she was playing football and when she got the cut on her hand." I looked up at him and he still had a very composed look on his face.

"You know that I couldn't tell you. I was and still am her doctor."

"I know. I'm just starting to piece it all together now." I looked back at Bella and she was still asleep.

"She's not in any pain, is she?" I asked Carlisle.

"No. There's got morphine and antibiotics through two IVs. If she does wake up she'll be uncomfortable though. We had to put a tube down her throat to her stomach to pump on any food left out of her system and get antibiotics in." She looked so peaceful. It hurt to think that she would be in any pain.

I looked over at the clock and it was getting very late. Carlisle noticed too. "Edward you should get home and get some rest."

"I'm not going." There is no way he was getting me out of this chair and away from her. I've been away from her for too long.

"Edward," he warned. "I know you don't want to leave but you can't stay here. I'll be here with her just in case."

"I said that I'm not going anywhere." He was about to argue but I cut him off, "I love her and I'm not leaving here until she knows that."

"Fine. Charlie won't be back until tomorrow morning. He's getting Bella some things. I'll be around if you need me." Carlisle walked briskly out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

I turned back to Bella and began to stroke her hair back across her forehead like before. "I do love you."

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I'm not sure what time it was when I fell asleep but before I did I turned the lights off in the room only leaving the lamps on. My head fell against her hips while my hands cradled the one hand of hers that didn't have wires or needles coming out of it.

It must have been early morning when I awoke. The sun was coming over the horizon just breaking through the clouds and entering into the window.

"Your neck must be killing you." I looked up and saw Bella staring back at me with her big brown eyes.

"You're awake." I started to smile.

"No shit." We both started to laugh but her laugh didn't make the sound of a bell ringing but rather of a smoker going through two packs of cigarettes a day.

"Do you want me to get you something for your throat? There's some water on your bed stand."

She nodded her head turning to look at where the water was. I slowly got up stretching my back. She was right, my back and neck were killing me. The water was slightly warm but she drank it anyway.

"Better?" I asked.

"Much. Thank you." I sat back down next to her making sure I didn't sit on anything.

"How are you feeling?" She stared at me and smiled.

"I'm better now but I still feel really tired." She still didn't look so good. Her skin was still a pale, ashy color but the circles under her eyes looked better.

"They've got you on antibiotics right now and your throat is sore because they had to stick a tube down your esophagus to get any food left out." She looked at me impressively that I knew all of this.

"What happened?"

"You have an infection in your stomach." She nodded her head curtly once.

"Aren't you upset at all? Shouldn't you be concerned?" She was making no sense.

"Edward." She said my name with the saddest tone. "I knew something like this was going to happen." She took a deep breath before she began to speak again. "When I found out I relapsed awhile ago, I decided not to get treatment."

"Why would you do that?!" I didn't want to get upset with her but she was making no sense.

"Would you calm down?!" She looked at me angrily but her temper just wasn't there today. "I decided not to get treatment because this is my fourth relapse and besides getting a bone marrow transplant there's not much more they can do. I wanted to spend whatever time I had left with you."

"What about the bone marrow transplant?"

"Neither of my parents are a match," she explained. "Your dad and Dr. Gerandy put me on a donor list but there's a very little chance they'll find one. If I were to wait, I would have to stay in at Seattle Children's Memorial on chemotherapy until one would become available."

"Isn't it worth it though?" I wanted to convince her so badly to fight.

"Of course it's worth it if I thought it would do any good."

"But it could work. Just give it one more chance." I could tell she was getting upset with me but I couldn't help it.

"Not now, Edward. I'm tired and I don't want to argue anymore." She laid her head back against her lumpy pillow and closed her eyes.

"Where's Charlie?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"He went home last night while I stayed. I think he's getting some of your things to bring here."

"Oh," was all she said. She looked so peaceful when she relaxed like this. The sun streaked through the window and laid across her face. "That feels nice," she commented.

"Do you want me to open a window?"

"Yes please." I walked over and opened up the window. The cool breeze whipped into the room and cut across my skin.

"I think it's still too cold outside."

"No, I want it open. It's too stuffy in here. There's an extra blanket in the drawer over there." She pointed to the small dresser in the corner of the room. I walked over and pulled out the blanket then I draped it across her frail body.

"You know," she said, "I'd be even warmer if you held me." I was hesitant about the idea. I didn't want to hurt her.

She read the hesitancy on my face and then glowered at me. "That wasn't a question and you're not going to hurt me. Now get over here."

I got up and very carefully snuggled up against her side while putting my arm around her neck. She nuzzled her head into my shoulder and I rested my head on hers.

"I'm really sorry," she said.

"For what?"

"For getting you into this mess," Bella replied.

"Bella," I turned so that she was facing me, "do not for one second blame any of this on yourself. I have been happier in these past few months than ever before."

"Me too. I just meant that if you choose to stay with me now it's not going to be easy." Her voice still sounded upset.

"I'm not choosing to stay with you. I have no options. Do you know why?"

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I love you." She smiled at my words.

"I love you too," she answered. She reached up and closed the distance between our lips. The wire beneath her nose kind of made it difficult but I wouldn't have it any other way.

She pulled away when she needed to breathe. I chuckled to myself softly while our foreheads were still pressed together. I missed kissing her so much, especially how soft and warm her lips were.

"I really wish you would have told me sooner."

"I should have. I missed you so much and I'm really sorry about not answering the door every time you rang." I laughed.

"Maybe I shouldn't have been so persistent." We both laughed.

"Charlie wasn't so happy with you but after the second day it was like a routine." We were both laughing when she started coughing. I sat up immediately trying to get her to stop but it eventually turned into a wheeze.

"Sorry," she said when she finally had air back in her lungs.

"Stop apologizing. Do you want me to go get Carlisle?" She shook her head while trying to stop her eyes from watering.

"No, it's just my throat. It's still kind of dry." I reached over and grabbed the cup of water off the table and handed it to her. She took a sip and then sighed leaning her head back against my shoulder.

"Better?" I asked. She nodded her head.

It was a little while later when Charlie entered the room. He was holding a duffle bag probably full of Bella's stuff.

"I'll be back later. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed while she reached up to give me one last kiss.

I passed Charlie on my way out the door. I walked down the hall and out to my car. The whole time I was thinking about how I could get Bella to get treatment. There has to be some way, a weakness of hers I can attack. She needed to get the treatment. If there was anything I needed to do it was convince her of that.

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I hope you guys like it! I'm trying to update as often as possible. Reviews are always appreciated.


	15. Chapter 15: Stronger

**Hope you guys enjoy and sorry it took so long for me to update. I think from now on I'm going to be switching POVs just as a forewarning. **

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EPOV

I got home and everyone was still asleep and Carlisle was still at the hospital. I went upstairs to shower but even the hot water couldn't calm my mind. My thoughts just kept wrapping around Bella and how I could convince her to keep fighting.

I eventually wandered down for breakfast but it looked as if everyone was gone. I remembered that it was Saturday and everyone would be going about whatever plans they had for the day. There was a wonderful smell coming from the kitchen, though. As I walked in, Esme was standing at the counter making something very sweet.

"Edward? You're home thank goodness." She walked over and gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. "Carlisle called and told me you wouldn't be coming home till late but I didn't think it wouldn't be until morning." She walked back towards the table while scolding me.

"You didn't wait up did you?" She just kept scolding me as I groaned. "Sorry," I said, "I didn't think you would wait up for me."

"It's my job to worry."

"What are you making?" I asked her.

"A cream cheese pound cake."

"Oh," was all I said. The silence grew awkward.

"How's Bella doing?" she asked me finally beating around the bush.

"I don't know. She's gotten better since the other night but the cancer…"

"What has she said about it?"

"She's refusing treatment. She said that it hasn't been working for her and she's given up."

"Now Edward, you don't need to make it sound like she's committing suicide." I was about to disagree but she held up her finger to stop me. "Carlisle did mention that she's gone through three rounds of chemotherapy and many operations. If the cancer is still coming back I'm not so sure there's much more they can do."

"I know about the previous relapses but she can still go for a bone marrow transplant." My voice was hopeful.

"Sweetie, you don't know for sure what would happen if she got a BMT. It doesn't really sound like she's given up hope but rather being realistic." My mother's eyes always looked so compassionate. They made me want to cry right in front of her.

"I can't lose her," I choked out.

"Oh sweetie." Esme came around and put her arms around me while I hugged her back.

Alice came bursting through the front door with Rosalie. They both noticed the tears around my eyes and immediately jumped to conclusions.

"Is Bella okay?! Did something happen?!" Esme turned to look at them.

"Bella is doing much better right now but she still can't have visitors." I got up and walked right past them not daring to look them in the eye.

I could barely hear them while I walked up the stairs but I stopped mid-step in order to eavesdrop.

"Mom? Is Edward going to be okay?" Alice asked.

"I'm not sure Alice. Bella's not doing that well. The infection has gotten better but the cancer is worse than ever."

"Why can't we see her when Edward can?" Rosalie asked.

"She's really tired and from what Carlisle said she only wants to be with Charlie or Edward right now."

"He really does love her." It wasn't a question from Alice.

"He does," Esme agreed.

I ran up the stairs two at a time. I couldn't listen anymore. My room looked messy and looked like it needed cleaning. I needed something to keep my mind busy so I took it as the perfect opportunity. Once that was finished I flopped on my bed and flipped open my laptop. I opened my favorite search engine and typed in 'bone marrow transplant.'

I didn't like what I saw. The success rate was extremely dependent on the patient and the side effects looked awful. Bella would have to be placed in a sterile environment after the treatment to prevent infection and she would feel awful for several days afterwards. Did she already know this? Even then, the BMT may not work. The disease may not respond to the new cells and Bella could relapse anyway.

A knock sounded at my door. I looked up but didn't bother to respond. Emmett slowly opened the door and came over to where I was sitting on the bed.

"Some of us were going to go play baseball out in the field. Do you want to come?" Obviously he was feeling pity.

"Not now Emmett." I kept scrolling down the page at the success rate statistics.

"You need to get out sometime man," Emmett continued. He clearly was not seeing that I want to be left alone.

"I said not now Emmett. What part do you not understand?" I finally looked up and his face looked distraught. It was the same look Bella didn't want me to give her and now I understand why.

"I heard about Bella," he said. "Are you going to go back to the hospital?"

"Yeah," was all I said.

"Tell her I say 'hi'." He looked slightly uncomfortable as he said this. I knew Emmett had gotten to know her but I didn't know he actually cared about her.

"Thanks," I replied. "I will."

"Okay, well we'll be out in the field if you decide to join us later." I just nodded my head in response. I looked over all of the pages again and printed them out. Bella would have to listen to me.

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BPOV

Charlie walked back into the room carrying my emergency case duffle bag.

"I went home and got you some clothes. You'll be more comfortable in your pajamas. I also got you a few other things." He began to unpack all of the stuff into the dresser drawers.

"Thanks." My voice was still hoarse.

"Here's some more water." He handed me a cup full of room temperature water. He looked like he was trying to keep himself distracted.

"Dad?" He finally turned to look at me. "I'm sorry I scared you." My lower lip was quivering. I started to cry.

"No sweetie, you didn't do anything wrong. Do you understand?" he asked in a stern voice. He sat down on the edge of my bed and held me. I nodded my head in an answer but the tears still came. "You didn't scare me Bells. Well, kind of but not that way. I was just taken off guard seeing you like that. I thought that you weren't going to make it."

"I know." I felt like I was failing him as his daughter. "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you." I said in between sobs.

"Ssshhh." He kept on holding me. "It's just that I'm not supposed to go to your funeral. You are supposed to go to mine."

"It's unfair," I agreed. I slowly got my breathing back to normal and wiped the tears away.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

"It's okay. Edward stayed here."

"So I take it that you two made up?" I smiled. "Good because I thought I was going to have to disable our door bell." I laughed.

"Edward apologized for that."

"Is he coming back here?" Charlie asked. I nodded.

"I think he went home to shower but he was going to come back later today," I said. Charlie got up again and continued to put my things away. Charlie was hiding something. He could never hide secrets well.

"Dad? What's wrong?" I asked.

"Are you sure this is what you want Bella?" I knew what he meant.

"Dad," I couldn't continue. A big lump had formed in my throat. "I don't want to hurt you. You know that, right?"

"Of course. I just meant that there is still one more option available. Isn't worth a try. I mean you're already here." My dad had been somewhat understandable with my decision awhile ago. I was curious as to why he was asking me this.

"Dad you knew my opinion before. What are you really asking?" He sighed. He was finally going to tell me what he was getting at.

"Your mom called last night." My face froze in fear. I could tell what my face looked like right now, a deer in headlights.

"You didn't?!"

"I can't keep something like this from her Bella. It's not just because she's scary when she wants to be. She deserves to know. You have no idea what it would do to her to hear that you had passed away and she didn't get to say good-bye."

"So I take it she's already on a plane up here?" I was beyond furious at him. Charlie at least respected my decision even though I'm not legally 18 yet, my mom would disregard what I wanted no matter what.

"She said the earliest flight she could get was late tonight. I have to go pick her up tomorrow morning."

"Great," was all I said.

Charlie had finished putting everything in the drawers and came to sit on my bed. "Now I know you're upset with me but she's still your mother. She deserves better. If you're going to make adult decisions then it's time you started acting like an adult and that includes facing Renee." I couldn't believe he was making me do this.

"Fine," I said with a child like retort.

"I have to go call the station," he said. "You'll be fine here without me?"

"It's not like I have a hot date or anything." He humphed and got off the bed walking out of the room. I decided to give Edward a call. I was missing him and wanted to hear his voice. I picked up the phone Charlie put on the bedside table for me and dialed Edward's number. It rang twice before I hear the ringing coming from directly outside the door. That was strange.

Edward opened the door to my room and was chuckling. " I was already one step ahead of you." He walked over to me and kissed the top of my head.

"Hi," I replied. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"So did you get a chance to shower and clean up?" I asked trying to make small talk.

"Yup." There was something he was hiding. Ugh. I hated being out of the loop. Everyone was keeping secrets from me.

"What?" He didn't say anything but instead he reached deep in the pockets of his jeans and took up folded up pieces of paper. He laid them out in front of me and gestured for me to read them. I picked up the paper and it took me a second to get the gist of it.

"Edward," I warned. "I already know all of this."

"Oh." His face fell. "Can't you just look it over again?" he pleaded. I picked up the papers and gave them back to him.

"I know you don't like what I'm doing but you have to trust that I know all of the information."

"Of course I trust you but…" he trailed off.

"…but you don't like the decision I'm making," I finished. His eyes trailed down.

"No," he said.

"Maybe it's you who needs to read these papers."

"I've already read them."

"But you haven't lived them," I finished. "You have no idea what it's like to be locked up in a sterile room with you teddy bear in a zip lock baggy. You have never had to have a needle that's eight inches long shoved into your spine or a catheter that's constantly pumping drugs into me making me throw up. You've never had to comb through what's left of your hair until all of it has fallen out." I was taking deep breaths at this point to stop myself from crying. "I can't do it again." Edward had moved forward and was hugging me keeping my head just below his neck. "It was horrible, just horrible."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry." My tears were staining his shirt.

"I know. I didn't mean to cry on you," I said as I took a tissue from the stand and began to dry his shirt off. I started to slowly get my breathing back to normal. I needed to calm down by myself. "Maybe you should go get something to eat," I mentioned.

"I don't need to eat. Don't push me away. Please." His eyes were pleading. He looked so hurt but I just wanted to be by myself right now.

"Just let me by alone for awhile. Charlie is picking my mom up from the airport tomorrow so he's at home. I'll call a nurse if I need anything. Just please leave me alone for right now." Edward kissed me on the forehead and hesitantly got up.

"I'll be back later tonight before you go to bed." I was so angry with him. I get that he loves me but he was pushing the envelope. I needed time to clear my head of the awful memories. I was sure to have nightmares later tonight no thanks to Edward. I remember the nightmares I used to get about the chemo and the hairloss. I would wake up screaming all the time and Renee would come running into my room. It became routine. Even when I was in the hospital the nightmares continued. I didn't want to put Edward through that. It would be absolutely awful if he was here for that. He should go home and sleep at home. I would have to tell him when he gets back.

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EPOV

When I walked out of the room I felt completely awful. I never meant to make her cry. What a mess I made. Maybe Carlisle would have some suggestions. I made my way to his office and as luck would have it he was there. I knocked twice before entering the room. He was still in his navy blue scrubs which probably meant he just came out of surgery and was tired.

"Edward come on in." I closed the door behind me. His desk was covered in many files that looked as if there was no organization involved.

"Dad," I greeted.

"Is there something on your mind? Something about Bella perhaps?" He knew why I was here.

"Aren't there any other options for her? I know about the bone marrow and everything but maybe there's another way around the chemotherapy." Carlisle looked up at me. I must have been a mess with the lack of sleep lately.

"This is mostly Dr. Gerandy's case Edward. If anyone were to know more about options it would be him."

"But you're a doctor. Surely you know something about cancer." I was pleading with him at this point.

He stared at me with a hesitant look. I could tell he was keeping something from me. "There is another option. It's a clinical trial with cancer patients they've been doing in Chicago right now. There's a drug that's injected straight into the bone so the chemo doesn't spread throughout the other cells in the body. It's helped with the side effects of chemo but they're not sure about the long term effects of the cancer. So far, the research has shown progress with the cancer until a surgery or transplant can be performed but the long term effects are unknown. It's risky."

"Does Bella know about this?" I asked. He shook his head no. "Why haven't you told her?"

"It has its risks Edward and it's very painful. Bella made it very clear that she didn't want to be in a lot of pain anymore."

"But she should know all of the options." Carlisle got up to stand in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders to calm me down.

"Calm down Edward. Neither you nor I are her doctor. Now, I will talk to Dr. Gerandy and maybe we can talk more options with her but for right now this is not your place. In fact, you shouldn't even be visiting Bella right now but I've waived that from her charts. Don't push this." His eyes were very strict. I could tell he meant business.

"I know. I just can't sit there and watch her get weaker. It's too hard." Carlisle reached forward and hugged me. I hugged him back as tight as I could. "I can't let her die. She can't die dad."

"I know but right now you can't focus on that. You have to be strong for her." I let go and walked over to the couch to sit down. "I know it's hard but you can't give up. She needs you right now."

I couldn't agree with what she was doing but she shouldn't see this break down. Carlisle was right; I needed to be strong for her.

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Hope you guys enjoyed! I'm trying to update as often as possible but it's getting pretty difficult. Hopefully this one was long enough to make up for any time delays.


	16. Chapter 16: Maybe I Changed My Mind

**Hope you enjoy!**

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BPOV

I was having the strangest dream. I wasn't used to having these dreams; usually mine were scary and involved someone I loved dying. I wasn't even sure I was dreaming but I was faintly aware it was a dream because I was sure I am still a teenager and in my dream I am an adult.

I was lying in bed and Edward was lying next to me. It was early morning and the windows were open letting the cool spring breeze float through the room. I looked over and Edward was looking back at me.

"Good morning beautiful," Edward said.

"Good morning to you too." I scooted myself over towards him and his arms circled around me. His head leaned down as his lips molded themselves to mine. 'If only I could wake up like this every day', I thought to myself.

"Ewwww! What are you doing?!" A small squeaky voice came from behind me. I turned towards the door and a small girl with curly, bronze hair was standing in the doorway. She was wearing the cutest nightgown and had green eyes and one dimple on her right cheek.

"Nessie, what are you doing up so early?" Edward asked. He was smiling at her, clearly not upset. 'Nessie' I thought. What an odd name?

"I couldn't sleep anymore. I'm not tired." She walked over to our bed and jumped up on top landing on her knees bouncing her way over between me and Edward.

"And who said you could disturb daddy and mommy?" He started to tickle her. Her giggles were the sweetest sound in the world.

"I don't know." She kept laughing. Edward and I were kissing her cheeks while she squirmed to get away from him.

"Huh? Huh?"

"I don't know." Edward stopped tickling her so she could catch her breath.

"Well then, I guess as punishment you'll have to cook breakfast for mommy and I this morning."

"But I don't know how to cook breakfast." She actually thought that Edward was being serious.

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you woke us up."

"I didn't wake you up. You were already awake."

"Then I guess you don't have to cook us breakfast," Edward sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Thanks daddy. Thank you mommy." She kissed both of our cheeks and got up and ran downstairs.

"Where were we?" he asked.

"Right about here," I said as I kissed him again.

"Gosh I love you. You are so beautiful." Edward was looking at me like he was seeing the sun for the first time but clearly we had been married for quite some time. I reached forward and kissed him again. This really was too good to be true. Edward's hand began to slowly slide down my backside stopping right before my butt. My fingers intertwined themselves in his hair pulling his face even closer to mind. I broke away gasping for air but his lips never left my skin. They just moved down to my neck gently sucking right where my pulse was beating faster than ever before.

"Mommy!" I heard Nessie yell. "Am I really supposed to cook breakfast?" Edward and I broke apart and started laughing.

Then the dream started to get fuzzy and bright fluorescent lights began to cloud my vision.

"Good dream?" Edward was sitting in the reclining chair over in the corner of the room. I just laughed.

"I guess you could say that." He got up and sat next to me on my bed readjusting me so I was leaning up against his side.

"Do you want to clue me in?" His green eyes were sparkling just like in my dream.

"Well if I tell you then it might not come true."

"It was that good?" he inquired.

I just nodded my head. I nuzzled my head into his shoulder.

"Did you change last night? Hopefully you went home to shower." His hair was cleaner and he was wearing a light blue cotton shirt.

"I did go home last night. You know not everyone enjoys hospital food."

"No one's making you stay." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"I wanted to apologize for last night. I didn't mean to make you upset." I looked up and he really did look sincere. Of course he would be truly sorry but he looked so hurt about what happened.

"I'm sorry too. I was being selfish."

"What do you mean you were being selfish?"

"When I chose not to get treatment I was being selfish. I wasn't thinking about what this was doing to you."

"This isn't about me."

"But it has everything to do with you." I said. "I'm taking so much away from you. I know that even if I do fight I could still die, but by not fighting I'm condemning myself to death anyway."

"What are you saying Bella?"

"I'm saying sorry for everything I'm taking away from you. I'm sorry that we can't go to college together, we can't get married and have kids. I'm sorry we can't grow old together and retire to a place where it's sunny every day."

"It doesn't matter," he said.

"Liar," I said.

"Bella…"

"No, listen to me. I am apologizing so you better just accept it and shut up." I was glaring at him. He stared back at me looking like he wanted to argue but couldn't find the heart to say anything back.

"Fine. I accept your apology." He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. "Do I finally get to know what your dream was about?"

"Nope," I said as I put more emphasis on the 'p'.

"I'll figure it out someday."

"I wish you wouldn't."

"We'll see," he said. There was a light tapping on the door as Carlisle came inside.

"Bella, Edward," he acknowledged us as he began to flip through my chart and read the machines. "How are you feeling this morning Bella?"

"A little tired but no more than usual."

"Your charts look good. I'll be around later to check on you."

He was about to walk out the door when I said, "Is Dr. Gerandy going to be stopping by later?" He turned around to look at me.

"He wasn't planning on it. Why do you ask?" I could feel Edward's curious eyes on my face but I refused to look at him.

"I had a question for him. Could you ask him to stop by if he has time?"

"Sure. Stay out of trouble you two." He turned and walked back out in to the hallway.

"Because we can get into so much trouble from where I am." I finished lamely.

"What do you have to ask?"

"It's nothing." I looked up and I could tell he wasn't going to let it go. I decided to lie. "My mom's plane gets in this morning which means she'll probably be here this afternoon and I want to make sure we're on the same page."

"Oh," was all he said.

"So you can go get breakfast if you want?" His stomach was growling. It was making me laugh.

"I'm fine," he said.

"Well you can get me breakfast then." I was completely joking.

"Actually I already have breakfast for you." He got up and walked over to his back pack on the floor.

"What are you talking about?" He pulled out a box and lifted off the top. Inside was an assortment of baked goods ranging from muffins to croissants.

"What is all of this?"

"Esme refused to let me leave the house without something for you to eat. Pick one." He put the box on top of my lap gesturing for me to take one. I looked at him skeptically.

"She shouldn't be doing this."

"Have you met my mother?" I started to laugh. "These are the kinds of things she loves to do. Don't insult her by not eating her wonderful pastries."

"Fine," I caved in. "But I'll only eat if you eat too." He sighed as he picked up a muffin. I decided I would have the same as him.

We just ate in silence not bothering to disturb the good morning it was.

"What day is it?" I honestly had no idea of days or time. That always happened when I was in the hospital. Routine and structure ceased to exist inside these walls.

"It's Monday, why?"

I shrugged. "I couldn't remember what day it was."

"I wish you didn't have to be here."

"I know what you mean. When I was younger my mom would bring movies for us to watch and we would have themed marathons. We once watched all of the up to date Harry Potter movies which at the time was four."

"Are you excited she's coming?"

"Not really," I admitted.

"Why?"

"I don't want to hurt her." Edward scrunched his eyes together. He was confused. "She doesn't know about what I decided."

"Oh," was all he said. "How are you going to tell her?"

"I'm not really sure. I don't really know how. She's my mom and she's been there for me through everything. I feel like if I tell her then everything she's done for me means nothing."

"Of course that's not what you mean."

"Well you know that and I know that but she doesn't. She'll be heartbroken. As much as she took care of me I took care of her just as much."

* * *

Edward had gone to talk to his dad about something. Luckily while he was gone Dr. Gerandy came by.

"Carlisle said you wanted to ask me something?"

"Can you close the door?" I asked him. I didn't need any interruptions for this.

He walked over to the door and stood by my bed. "The clinical trial with the new drugs," I inquired, "what are the success rates."

"There was a girl in New York, very similar to your case. She relapsed twice and had already gone through stem cell treatment. When they administered the new drugs into her spinal cord the bone marrow transplant took to her bones much better than chemo would have."

"Do you think that it would work for me?"

"It's different for every case but if there was ever a last shot this would be it." He took off his glasses and looked at me as if he was trying to see inside my mind. "You already know all of this Bella."

"I know but I'm starting to rethink my options. What number am I on the bone marrow donor list?"

"I was actually coming to talk to you about that. Since your cells are getting weaker you've been moved up on the list."

"How far?" He needed to talk numbers. I'd never thought that about a doctor before until now.

"We could have a match for you by the end of the week." That was quick.

"So if I decided to go along with this I would transfer to Seattle tomorrow?"

"That's correct. It's your choice and I know I've come off a bit harsh about your decision but I want to know that the choice is yours."

"Can I think about it and get back to you by tonight?"

"Sure thing. Just tell the nurse to page me. Is there anything else?"

"Umm…can you up the dosage of morphine?"

"Is the pain getting worse?"

"I didn't want to say anything but it's really bad."

"I'll get on that. Bye." Dr. Gerandy opened the door and walked out taking my chart with him.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes again my mom was in the room packing clothes into drawers.

"Mom?"

"Oh Bella, you're awake." She rushed over to me and hugged me. I groaned a little bit. My muscles were really stiff.

"Sorry," she apologized. "Dr. Gerandy told me he upped your dosage of morphine. You've been asleep for awhile."

"How long is awhile?" I asked.

"It's almost nine o'clock at night." My eyes bugged out of their sockets. "Where are Charlie and Edward?"

"They both went to get food." She kept folding clothes into drawers. "Charlie really likes him." She had a very certain tone.

"Do you not like Edward?"

"No of course not. It's just, is he ready to deal with this?"

"Don't worry about it mom. Let me deal with it."

"You shouldn't have to deal with it."

"Because I'm sick. Mom, I may be sick but I can still handle this on my own."

"Okay." She finally finished and came to sit over by me. "Oh I almost forgot. Did you want to Dr. Gerandy? He came by here earlier and saw that you were sleeping."

"Oh yeah I did but can you go find Edward. I wanted to talk to him first."

"Okay," she got up and left. She was confused as to why I would need to talk to Edward before I talked to Dr. Gerandy."

Edward came up a few minutes later.

"Your mom said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Come over here." I slowly scooted myself to the side. When he saw what I was trying to do he came over and helped me move over. He then laid next to me.

"What's wrong?"

"This morning I was apologizing for everything I was doing to you?"

"I remember. What are you getting at?"

"What if I went through with the new treatment?" He didn't answer my question. He just stroked the hair out of my eyes. "Answer my question please."

"I would be happy but not unless this is something you want to do. What changed your mind." I just shrugged my shoulders. "Does it have something to do with your dream from last night?" How did he guess that? He was pretty much right on target.

"Maybe," I said.

"Well, if you really want to go through with it then I'll support you no matter what."

"No matter what."

"I promise."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

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Sorry it took so long to update. College Apps are a nightmare. Hope you guys enjoyed. Thanks for all of the reviews.

So I'm not really sure how I want to end this story even though it's nowhere finished. Let me know if you have any ideas. Thanks


	17. Chapter 17: The End of a Beautiful Thing

**Wow! Sorry it took so long for me to update. I hope you guys enjoy because I tried to make it a longer one.**

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Carlisle and Dr. Gerandy were more than happy when I told them I wanted to go through with the procedure. Of course there was no reason to worry my mom with all of the drama that had gone on previously. She already worried too much about me.

Edward never let it show but I could tell that he was thrilled about my decision. He was being extremely naïve though. He had no idea what was going to happen, and neither did I for that matter. I was sure that the nausea would still be awful but Dr. Gerandy said that the hair and nail loss was decreased significantly.

Yesterday I had been moved to Seattle and I was in the children's ward. There were elephants, zebras, and lions on the walls. I could hear kid's laughter down the hall in the lobby. I, however, was not aloud out of my room. I couldn't risk infection at this point since the treatment was going to weaken my bone marrow.

"Do you need anything else sweetie?"

My mom and Esme had taken it upon themselves to decorate my room. Of course it was unnecessary and I wasn't allowed to have living plants in my room anyway. They chose fake flowers instead of real ones and my mom had brought my favorite blanket from Phoenix. The changes did help somewhat.

"No, I'm fine." Esme was rearranging a bouquet of day lilies on the table beside my bed and my mom was meticulously fixing my blanket even though it didn't need fixing. "Why don't you two go get breakfast?"

"Oh, we don't need to eat yet." My mom just kept fixing my blanket. I put my hand over hers so she couldn't move anymore.

"I meant why don't you go find something to do other than annoy me." Esme and Renee both looked at me with apologetic looks. I'm sure Esme knew already that there was nothing more frustrating than being cooped up in a hospital bed other than having your mother pester you constantly about inconsequential things.

"I can see that you need some time alone. We'll just go take a walk." 'Take a walk' I thought. Now that's something I haven't done in a long time. I wasn't even allowed to have the window in my room opened because the fresh air outside apparently held more disease that the hospital which contained extremely sick people.

Edward was out doing something this morning. He was very vague about it too. When I asked where he was going all he said was, "Out." It was so nonchalant as if I was stupid to ask in the first place. So now I sit here with nothing to do but be with my thoughts.

I tried to avoid time alone these past few days. Every time I fell asleep nightmares hid behind my eye lids. They crept up slowly so I wouldn't think they were coming. It wasn't nightmares, plural, as much as the same nightmare over and over again.

I would be standing next to Edward, of course looking like the god he is, and he would look down at me and whisper how beautiful I was in my ear. He would pull me forward for a kiss but right before our lips touched he would stop and look at me in disgust. I looked to the side and a mirror would reflect my hideous reflection back at me. My skin was ashen and old looking, there were only a few strands of hair left, and my eyes sunk back into my skull. That's when I would wake up screaming.

The only good dream I'd had in a long time was the one two days ago where Edward and I were married. It was a good dream but sad in a way. Somehow it got me to hope when I'd hadn't given myself permission to do so. Hope was a scary thing. Hope was what killed cancer patients. Nine out of every ten kids in this ward with cancer probably had less hope than their parents do and it's always the parents who end up getting hurt in the end. Most of the kids are okay with death by the end. It's a comfort to know that the end is almost near.

My mind was wandering down darker and darker thoughts when the sliding door to my room opened. Edward walked through with his emerald green eyes sparkling. They tended to do that a lot lately. He was hiding something behind his back.

"What are you hiding?" I asked with curiosity.

"I have a surprise for you."

"Should I be worried?"

"Silly Bella. Do you think I would surprise you with something you wouldn't like?"

"Just show me and then I'll decide." He smiled and pulled his hand from behind his back. It was a book. Not just a book but a book that contained many stories.

"Shakespeare's tragedies. Romeo & Juliet and many more of Shakespeare's finest works." I held the book up to my nose and took a huge whiff. It smelled like the second best thing in the world, books. The best smell was Edward of course.

"Do you like it?" He looked at me with appraising eyes.

"That depends on whether you're going to read some of it for me."

Edward took off his sweatshirt and got settled next to me on my bed careful not to disrupt the wires.

"Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;

Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows. Do with their death bury their parents' strife.

The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love, And the continuance of their parents' rage, Which, but their children's end, nought could remove, Is now the two hours' traffick of our stage; The which if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend."

Edward's honey voice wrapped around the words making me weak at the knees. Figuratively of course being as I can't walk.

"You know," I interrupted him, "I've always had a thing for Romeo." I started to laugh and so did Edward.

"Did you?" Edward said as a matter of fact.

"Well that was until I met you," I said just to clarify.

"Uh huh."

"His eyes have nothing on yours. And there's no denying that your voice is so much sweeter." That seemed to calm him down a little. I reached up to give him a kiss but he had to lean down to help me out.

I was just starting to get into the kiss when Dr. Gerandy walked into the room with a resident nurse. The RN was dragging a cart with her and I'm sure it had a big needle on it.

"Not now," I groaned leaning into Edward's chest. He lifted his arm up from around my head and sat up leaving me alone on the bed.

"Bella," Dr. Gerandy greeted me. "You know what's going to happen now. Although I thought your parents were going to be here." He and I both looked at the clock. "I did say eleven o'clock." He shook his head.

I closed my eyes as I rolled over onto my side. The RN lifted up my shirt and began to clean the area. I felt a hand grab mine and I opened my eyes to see Edward sitting right my side holding my hand. A tear began to roll down my cheek but I tried to wipe it away before he could notice.

"Okay, sweetie." I knew what the nurse was doing. She was ready to take the very long needle and put it straight into my spine. "You're going to feel a lot of tightness but try to breathe through it."

I squeezed Edward's hand when the needle punctured the skin. There was a lot of tightness. I took deep breaths but it wasn't working. She just kept moving the needle around until she finally hit the bone. Tears were streaming down my face by this point.

"Shhh," Edward hushed trying to get me to calm down.

"Bella," Dr. Gerandy said. "We'll check back every so often. This will have to stay in until the fluid runs out okay?"

I nodded my head. Dr. Gerandy and the RN both left the room.

"I guess it was fun while it lasted."

"What do you mean?"

"Give it twenty minutes."

"What do you want to do until then?" He was trying to keep me distracted.

"Keep reading." Edward let go of my hand and reached for the book he put on the bed stand. I tried to concentrate on his voice while he read over the first Act. He was almost to the second Act when the nausea hit.

Edward reached for the bucket the RN left and I hurled whatever I'd eaten in the past couple of days. How could I possibly throw up more? Had I not already gotten rid of anything I'd eaten in my whole life by now?!" It was completely nauseating just lying on my side while the vomit kept coming.

Edward was so sweet though. He held my hair back while holding the bucket up at the same time. When I was done vomiting he would wipe my mouth off with a towel.

"How much is left in the bag?" I asked after what seemed like hours.

"You're almost done love."

"Bella!" My mom exclaimed as she walked into the room. "Esme and I completely lost track of the time. I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

I couldn't even open my eyes to look at her. I just shook my head.

"Edward's here. I'm okay." She slowly went over to the chair in the corner and stared at me.

Another wave of nausea hit me and before my mom could race over to get the bucket Edward beat her to it.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Just relax." Edward wiped up the rest of my mouth. He lightly hummed a tune I wasn't familiar with but it put me in a deeply drowsy state. The poison must almost be gone because the nausea was almost completely gone and I was able to fall asleep. I wondered about the tune Edward was humming. It was so soothing. My mom could never get me to fall asleep during the chemo before. I guess he had the magic touch.

I woke up some time later, must have been really late because the sun was already setting. My hip was so sore though. Figures since I'd been laying on it for almost the whole day.

"Do you want anything to eat sweetheart?" Esme was sitting in the corner reading a book.

"I'm not that hungry."

"You could try to eat something. You lost a lot of fluids today."

"Sorry Esme but not right now. The chemo makes me lose my appetite." I tried to sit up and Esme helped me.

"Carlisle said that you might be sore in the spine for a little while. He recommended switching to your other side rather than lying on your back." Great. I couldn't even lay on the side I wanted to.

"Where are Renee and Charlie?"

"Your mom said she had to make a phone call to the insurance company and your dad had to go back to work. He said he would be back tomorrow night."

I didn't think my parents would just sit around with me all the time but I didn't expect to feel this alone.

"And Edward?" I inquired.

"He's with Carlisle. I think he's very interested in medicine. He just wanted to see the hospital. Although they've been gone for awhile. They should be back soon." She looked so sweet with her heart shaped face and deep brown eyes. I couldn't help but like her. I didn't just like her but I adored her. I loved my erratic, hair brained mother but Esme was just so sweet.

"You don't have to stay with me here. You can go home too if you like." I'm sure Edward's family was at home fending for themselves.

"Honey," she began, "if they can't feed themselves by now then I have failed as a mother." We both laughed. It was just unfair to keep everyone stuck in this hospital like me when it was summer. Edward and his mother should be outside enjoying the warm weather like everyone else. I was a burden.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Of course she could tell that something was wrong.

"I just feel like I'm keeping everyone from their lives. You should be at home with your family and Edward should be enjoying the rare sunny days that have come."

"Bella," she sat next to me putting her warm hand against my cold cheek. "You are a part of this family now and as for Edward I'm pretty sure that you are his life now." That wasn't much more comforting. "That's not a bad thing Bella. He loves you so much. It wouldn't be much of a fun summer if he wasn't spending it with you."

"But it was wrong for me to get involved with him." No one could deny that.

"Now you listen here." I'd never heard Esme be so serious. "I have never seen Edward happier than when he is with you."

I nodded my head. "You're right," I agreed. "Can you go find Edward? I want to talk to him before I fall asleep again."

"Sure thing sweetheart." She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. As she walked out I grabbed the TV remote and switched to the weather channel. Sure enough tomorrow was going to be a sunny day and yet Edward would be wasting it with me.

"Bella?" I turned towards Edward's sweet voice. He was walking in the room looking exhausted.

"Hi," I said as he leaned down to kiss me.

"My mom said you wanted to talk to me?"

I turned back towards the TV watching the weather report again. I didn't want to be mean to him.

"Bella what's wrong?" His voice was laced with concern.

"Tomorrow is supposed to be perfectly sunny," I explained.

"So?"

"So you should spend it outside with your family."

"I'm not going…" Before he could finish I cut him off.

"Yes you are. I forbid you to come to this hospital tomorrow." He was looking at me skeptically. "I mean it. You are going to go home with Esme tonight, shower, and hopefully eat real food." I chuckled lightly to myself.

"I don't know about this Bella." Edward and his worrying.

"If it's me you're worried about then don't because I will be fine. I won't, however, be fine if you stay one more beautiful day inside these ugly white walls." I was trying to be stern but I was getting really tired.

"You're positive?"

"Positive. Go home and sleep. Come back after tomorrow. There will be zero excitement here."

"Okay." Edward didn't sound sure at all.

"Just give me a kiss before you go." I kissed him back with as much effort as possible. I needed to get my fix before he was gone tomorrow.

"I love you," he said as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"I love you too."

"Edward are you ready to go?" Esme was waiting at the door.

"I'll be back after tomorrow." His words almost came out as a warning. I laughed lightly to myself. Edward deserved much better than life in a hospital. I really hoped he enjoyed tomorrow. But how was I going to make sure of that? That's when it hit me. I grabbed my phone off the table and dialed the one person who could make Edward's day perfect.

The phone rang twice before a pixie voice said, "Hello."

"Alice, it's Bella. I need to ask a favor."

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So I think I know where I'm going with story now. Thank you for all of the advice and for the reviews. I promise to update more frequently from now on. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!


	18. Chapter 18: Good Day

**Sorry it took so long to update but here's a new chapter. I hope you guys enjoy!**

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EPOV

Bella was right about me needing a shower. I don't think Esme could stand to be in a room with me for too long.

The hot water soothed me but no amount of water in the world could settle my mind. I just kept thinking about Bella in that hospital bed alone. Well, not technically alone, she was with her mother when I left.

My mind wandered, always wandering and constantly about the same thing. Sleep didn't come easy either. I finally decided that since it was summer a Tylenol PM couldn't hurt. Finally sleep took over but it didn't stay long when a certain pixie sister came barging into my room.

"Wake up Edward!" She skipped over to my window and opened up the drapes letting the warm sun into the room.

"What time is it?" I looked over and read the clock. "What are you doing up this early in the morning?!"

"The more important question is can you be ready to go in fifteen minutes?" I gave her a questioning look. She was making no sense.

"Well I figured since it's a beautiful day outside and Bella is making you stay here, then you should spend the day with Emmett and Jasper."

"And what exactly do they have in mind?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I think it's supposed to be a surprise." Of course she knew what we were doing. Alice knows everything.

"Sure, sure." Hopefully the distraction will keep my mind of Bella. It just wasn't fair that she had to spend the beautiful day in that room. My only fear is that today was a repeat of yesterday.

"Fifteen minutes," she warned. I got up slowly and stretched. I never realized how sore I'd gotten from sitting in the same chair for such a long period of time. The sun did feel warm today though.

Not sure about what we were doing today I played it safe wearing khakis and my favorite sweatshirt which now smelled like Bella's favorite shampoo, strawberries. I looked around my room and it felt unfamiliar for once. My organized CDs now looked like OCD and my barely slept in bed made it look like a guest room. I wasn't even completely sure what day it was. The calendar on my desk said it was Thursday. That meant Carlisle was at the hospital for early rounds and Esme had her book club.

I walked down the stairs taking my time one by one. Jasper and Emmett were already getting their coats on and ready to walk out the door.

"Do you know who that is Jasper? I think he might be related to us but I'm not sure anymore."

"I know Edward used to live here but I haven't seen him around in a long time."

"Haha," I said. "Very funny. So where are we going?"

"We are going to eat a very unhealthy breakfast and then we're going to go test drive dad's new car."

"Did dad say that was okay?" I didn't need to get into trouble with Carlisle right now.

"He gave me the keys before he left." Emmett held up the keys with the Ferrari symbol on the chain.

"I guess I'm in then." We took Emmett's Jeep to this little diner on the outside of town and got enough food to feed an army. Having Esme as a mother meant we never really ate poorly.

We were all eating breakfast and Emmett and Jasper were talking about dad's new car. Before this year I would have been interested in their conversation but as of right now my mind held no interest.

My hand was in my pocket wrapped around my cell phone ready to go to the bathroom and make a call to Bella. I just wanted to hear her voice but I knew that if I called she would get upset not to mention how pissed Jasper and Emmett would be.

"Edward?" Jasper snapped me out of my own thoughts. "Do you have ADD?" Both he and Emmett laughed but I knew there was nothing humorous in their laughs.

"Sorry," I said.

"How's she doing?" Emmett was the first to touch the topic. Up until now it was like the big elephant in the room.

"I don't really know. She's decided to go through with treatment but I don't know which is worse, the treatment or the disease."

I put my face in my hands remembering the pain in Bella's eyes yesterday. She looked so tired when I left her yesterday. I really hoped she slept last night but the nurse said it was going to become more and more difficult for her to relax enough to sleep.

"Dad hasn't really said anything about it," Jasper said.

"He's not supposed to," I interjected. "It's doctor patient confidentiality. Although, I don't think Bella would care that much. Just don't say anything to anyone at school. Okay?"

They both nodded their heads in agreement.

"But what's the chance that she'll survive?" Emmett asked.

"At this point the odds are against her but the farther she gets in treatment we'll have a better look. It all depends on how she responds to the drugs. Then when they've depleted her bone marrow to the point of nonexistence they'll do the bone marrow transplant."

"There's only a month and a half more of summer." Jasper stated. "What's going to happen when she's still in the hospital and you're supposed to be at school? And what are people going to think when she's gone for a really long time and then returns looking different?"

"I haven't really gotten there Jazz. Bella and I are just trying to stay in the present. Take it one day at a time," I explained.

"Here's your check," The waitress said as she walked over handing us the bill. I was ready to pull out my wallet but Emmett put his hand up to stop me.

"I got it little bro."

"So where to next?" I asked.

"We are going to the batting cages to work off that breakfast." All of us got up and went to the batting cages. The day went by pretty fast. I thought it was going to go slowly but by the time we got home Esme had dinner on the table.

"Oh good you boys are home. Your father should be joining us shortly. Do you guys want to wash up and get settled?" Esme had a wonderful meal planned although it was only a Thursday night.

There was a pot roast sitting in the center and homemade bread sitting right next to it.

"What's the occasion?" I asked her. She walked past me with a fresh bouquet of day lilies. I knew those were Bella's favorite flowers. Esme just shrugged her shoulders.

"It's just nice having the whole family here." She smiled at me and it made my stomach fall. I felt so guilty for not being here this summer.

"Mom, I'm sorry if it feels like I'm ignoring you."

"You are in no way to feel guilty. I think you would feel guiltier if you were here instead of where you're supposed to be." I nodded my head. It was true. "I'm so sorry under the circumstances that this had to happen but I am so happy that you have light in your eyes again. I used to think that your brain worked differently that everybody else's. You never had many friends but Bella is good for you. If she is who you want then I'm happy for you."

I leaned forward to give her a hug and kissed her on the cheek.

"Good evening everybody." Carlisle walked through the door. "Smells good sweetie."

"I made a special dinner since everybody is home for dinner." Carlisle walked forward and kissed my mother. I looked away embarrassed. Even after 25 years of marriage they both looked as in love as they did the day they got married.

Dinner was amazing. I didn't realize how much I missed home cooking. Especially my mom's cooking. No one could make a better family dinner than Esme. There were a lot of things I realized I missed. But there was something or should I say someone I missed even more.

Everyone gathered in their own conversations. Emmett and Jasper talked cars while Rose and Alice talked fashion. Carlisle and Esme mingled on about their days while I dreamt of other things.

"So Edward," my father began, "have you decided what classes you're going to be taking senior year?" His question caught me off guard.

"Actually I hadn't given it much thought." I hated disappointing him. I think a part of him had always hoped that I would become a doctor since my strongest subject was science. Emmett was never book smart and Jasper never took interest in math or science.

"Well hopefully AP Biology and AP Chemistry are in your plans." Carlisle was trying to make light of the situation but senior year hadn't even crossed my mind since Bella had become sick. School started in little over a month. Was I even going to go back to school if Bella was still in the hospital? Questions wrapped around my mind.

"Edward?" Esme scolded me. "It's rude to ignore your father."

"Sorry I didn't mean to. I just really haven't given senior year much thought at all. We're just trying to take things one day at a time." I'd made the mistake of saying we.

"Are you referring to Bella?" my father asked me.

My parents loved Bella. Esme practically saw her as her own daughter but my parents wouldn't understand why I was waiting to make plans with Bella. They thought I would be making a mistake by making my education second on my list of priorities.

"Son, I know you and Bella are close but you're going to have to set aside some time to think about your future whether Bella is in it or not." That struck a chord.

"What are you saying dad?"

"I'm just saying that it would be terrible to delay your education when you don't know what's going to happen."

"Nothing is going to happen to her!" I didn't mean to snap at my father but he just didn't get it. Everyone was staring at us not knowing what to say.

"Edward please sit back down and enjoy the rest of the meal while everyone is together."

"I don't think I can enjoy it anymore." I walked out of the dining room grabbing my keys off the front table.

I just needed to drive and forget about them. The road twisted and turned and it wasn't until I got on the highway that I knew where I was going. She would be upset of course but then again if I didn't get away from my family I would be that much more upset when I see her tomorrow.

It was still early in the evening but the hallways of the hospital seemed quieter than usual. I walked up through the pediatric hallway passing by the sick children with tubes and machines hooked up to them. I focused on getting to Bella's room. It amazed me though how she was still in the pediatric ward.

I was about to round the corner when I heard laughing coming from the room next to me. It sounded so much like Bella's. But it couldn't be because she isn't allowed out of her room. I investigated anyway.

When I walked in I saw a little girl with a mask on giggling and rolling over in laughter. Bella was sitting next to her wearing a mask as well. They were both in hysterics. The little girl was adorable, too small for her age, but cute none the less.

"Edward!" Bella sang. She slowly got up and came to give me a hug. I was about to move the mask off her face so I could kiss her but she moved her hand up to stop me. She just shook her head.

"I have to keep it on when I'm outside the room." She grabbed my hand and led me over to the little girl sitting in the middle of the room. It was a playful room with handprints on the wall and smiley faces drawn on paper plates. This must be where the kids hang out when they can.

"This is Katie," Bella said. "I met her awhile ago and I saw her being pushed down the hall in a wheelchair. Quite the coincidence." I'd never seen Bella in such an ecstatic mood. She hadn't even reprimanded me for coming back early.

"You're in a good mood," I noted. I couldn't help but smile too. It made me happy to see her happy.

"Well we've been having fun." Bella motioned towards Katie's face when I noticed what they were laughing about. Bella had drawn lipstick on Katie's mask so it looked like Katie had lips. Katie kept giggling.

"Hi Katie, I'm Edward." Katie seemed somewhat shy around me. Bella leaned down and whispered in her ear and she started giggling all over again.

"What did you tell her?" I whispered in Bella's ear.

"Oh nothing." I could tell Bella was smiling beneath her mask. I couldn't help myself when I leaned down and kissed her right where her lips should be.

"Ewww!" Katie said. Bella turned and started laughing too.

"Looks like everyone's having fun in here." An older nurse with blondish gray hair walked in smiling. I think this room made everyone smile.

"Oh we are," Bella said.

"Sorry to break up the fun but you two," she nodded towards Katie and Bella, "need to get back to your rooms."

"Alright," Katie said. The nurse had to help her off the ground.

"What pretty lips you have," the nurse exclaimed. Katie started giggling again.

"Bye Bella."

"Bye Katie."

I turned back towards Bella. She did look a little tired. I didn't notice.

"Can you help me up?" Bella asked. I put my arm around her back and helped her up off the ground. "You're not supposed to be here you know?" She sounded faintly upset.

"I know but I missed you too much." There was no need to worry her with the argument I had at home. I knew they meant well but Bella would take it much more personally. It would only upset her further.

"I guess it's okay." We walked back to her room. "So what did you do anyway?"

"Emmett, Jasper, and I went out to breakfast, went to the batting cages, and then drove my dad's sports car around."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes but I missed you too much." I kissed her on top of her head. We were back at her room now. I closed the door as she got into bed. I was going to take the mask off but she shook her head.

"You have to go sanitize your hands and arms before I can take it off." She looked saddened by this. It was no big deal really. I went into the bathroom and scrubbed my hands and arms down. When I stepped out I held out my arms to prove that they were clean. She sighed and took the mask off.

"Did you have fun today?" I asked her.

"I actually did. I was lying here reading when I saw Katie in a wheelchair outside. I met her when Alice and I went shopping. We spent the whole day together. It was fun."

"How did treatment go?"

"Today was an off day. I didn't have to get the poison but I did feel a little nauseous this morning. It was no big deal." She leaned back into her bed and began to close her eyes. She must be exhausted. I got up and moved the sheets up and around her so she didn't get cold.

"Sleep Bella. I'll be here when you wake up." I lightly kissed her on the lips and moved to the chair beside her where I would keep an eye on her. She was too beautiful not to watch.

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